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In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v.12

In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 12
In this sophisticated world, science and new technology has bestowed multifarious privileges to the people. However, the manually exposed creations like paintings, stories and musics are yet most famous among masses due to the lively performance from the artists, this essay elaborates the reasons in detail. First and foremost, it is the deniable fact that artificers are always getting reference and admiration from all over world through their alluring extraordinary talent, which is come from their immense exertion along with structured path from the spiritual side. Furthermore, not like the other technical thing, the artists worship and enshrined their competency as a boon from the God, so the people gets the adorable blessings though the creations of craftsman. In addition to this, while reading books and listening musics may realize the importance of the prime thing of this birth because that is contributing with the nature and also there are so many eye opening incidents are happening in this society among the perpetrator, for example, the famous writer Sheddy who punished for 6 year prison life owing to his adverse deeds in school, during that period he was read so many books which changed his life utterly, now he is the inspiration of all youths. It is irrefutable fact that science and technology has made so many positive changes in human life by doing their work effortlessly, it facilitates to relent the eke substantially and saves the people’s precious time, which pave the way to spend time with family members and some recreational activities and so on. To sum up this, it seems to me that even though the current era has afford enormous waivers to change the people’s life ease, the intrinsic value of artists is virtually high due to the soulful creations.
In this sophisticated world, science and new technology has bestowed multifarious privileges to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, the
manually
exposed creations like paintings, stories and musics are
yet
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among masses due to the lively performance from the artists, this essay elaborates the reasons in detail.

First
and foremost, it is the deniable fact that artificers are always getting reference and admiration from all over world through their alluring extraordinary talent, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from their immense exertion along with structured path from the spiritual side.
Furthermore
, not like the other technical thing, the artists worship and enshrined their competency as a boon from the God,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
the adorable blessings though the creations of craftsman.

In addition
to this, while reading books and listening musics may realize the importance of the prime thing of this birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
contributing with the nature and
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eye opening
incidents are happening in this society among the perpetrator,
for example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
writer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sheddy
who punished for 6 year prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
owing to his adverse deeds in school, during that period he
was read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
utterly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is the inspiration of all youths.

It is irrefutable fact that science and technology has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by doing their work
effortlessly
, it facilitates to relent
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'eke' is correct. If 'eke' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the eke
substantially
and saves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
precious time, which pave the way to spend time with family members and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreational activities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

To sum up this, it seems to me that
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era has
Use past participle here: "afforded".
afford
enormous waivers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, the intrinsic value of artists is
virtually
high due to the soulful creations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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