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social media, such as TV, radio and newspaper provide people with wrong information and mislead socities? v.2

social media, such as TV, radio and newspaper provide people with wrong information and mislead socities? v. 2
In the last three decades, the world has been exposed to many problems. Some people believe that social media, such a TV news, newspaper and radio could contribute to finding solutions for a better society; however, others claim that modern media provides wrong information and misleads people, From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight given that current media press wants to control audience thoughts and earn more profits. The first and foremost point, recently, social media has become very strong and could influence people’s opinions. To put it in other words, media press could not only mislead the public, but also limit their ability to think and analyze. A vivid example of that, the last presidential election in Egypt in 2013, Al Jazeera news channel allegedly biased coverage of news that related to Egypt and its government, it wanted to convince the world that Egypt did not have a democratic environment, in order to destroy Egypt’s image in the region. Provide that media press spread fake news, it could captivate people’s thoughts and restrict their ability to form an unbiased opinion about an incident. Next, coupled with hegemony audience thoughts, making money is another reason why social media could mislead the public. Likewise, current media today shows people news that has a spice to attract them without taking the social problems into consideration. For instance, today social media all over the world could spread rumors about celebrities in order to grab public attention. Furthermore, many Egyptian channels consume the entire airtime to cove celebrities’ wedding; on the other hand, it does not represent the problems that face the Egyptian society. Although people want some entertainment through the media press, the balance should be maintained between both sides. Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt, social media today misleads the public not only to dominate, but also to make money. It is suggested that media represents people voice and opinion rather than being selfish, greedy and power hunger.
In the last three decades, the world has
been exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, such a TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, newspaper and radio could contribute to finding solutions for a better society;
however
, others claim that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
misleads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
wants to control audience thoughts and earn more profits.

The
first
and foremost point, recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong and could influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinions. To put it
in other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mislead
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
limit their ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and analyze. A vivid example of that, the last presidential election in Egypt in 2013, Al Jazeera
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel allegedly biased coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that related to Egypt and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it wanted to convince the world that Egypt did not have a democratic environment, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
Egypt’s image in the region. Provide that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
spread fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it could captivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
thoughts and restrict their ability to form an unbiased opinion about an incident.

Next
, coupled with hegemony audience thoughts, making money is another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mislead
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that has a spice to attract them without taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems into consideration.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
all over the world could spread rumors about celebrities in order to grab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
attention.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Egyptian channels consume the entire airtime to cove celebrities’ wedding;
on the other hand
, it does not represent the problems that face the Egyptian society. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
, the balance should
be maintained
between both sides.

Taking everything into consideration; without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
misleads
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to dominate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
represents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
voice and opinion
rather
than being selfish, greedy and power hunger.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay social media, such as TV, radio and newspaper provide people with wrong information and mislead socities? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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