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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that it is easier for young people today to make decisions for their own lives than in the past v.2

that it is easier for young people today to make decisions for their own lives than in the past v. 2
People in increasing number these days would say that young adult are more likely to make their decision easier than the previous generation. However, I disagree with them. I beleive that young people having difficulties to make their won decision. The basis for my views is based on the fact that yound individuals are more inluence with technology and social media. In the past technology was limited. Factories were unable to produce massive production of different goods and products. People have no option except accepting the available goods. With limited option, people had no problems deciding witch goods they want to buy. In contrast, young people are puzzeled from the aboundant goods and products that became avialable due to techology advancement. Given that there are different car companies produce different cars style with a compatitive price, people who want to buy a car have a dificult time choosing which car in the best. If there are only one car company available at the market, People would have no other choice except buying this car despite its drow backs. In addition to the previous point, the introduction of internet made it more difficult for younger adults to make a decision. In the past, people had been buying their priducts according to their internal guts feeling. If they feel satisfied with the products, they would buy it immidetitly without any hasitation. By introducing of information exchange through the internet, Products have became more puzzeling and more ambiguous. Unfortuniatly, people nowaday' s came to a happite to check internet reviews on certain products before they buy it. Since the reviews could be missleading and confusing, young people could miss a good oportunity to buy an excellent product. For example, when I moved to Vancouver city last year, I wanted to rent an appartment. By searching online I came across to a nice appartment in a high rise building. However, when I checked the reviews, I was surprised by the negative feedbacks on that building. As a result, I did not even give it a chance to physically check the appartment. Later on a friend of mine rented that appartment and he told me that he realy enjoying the great serveces the buiding owners provided to their tanent. If I did not relay on online information, I could rent this appartment. As a conclusion, according to what I have been discussed previousely, I asserts that young people have difficulties to make their decision copare to their peers in the past. Yound people currently are more distracted with aboundant options available on the market and deceitful information on the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in increasing number these days would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
easier than the previous generation.
However
, I disagree with them. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having difficulties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their won
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. The basis for my views
is based
on the fact that
Possible spelling mistake found.
yound
individuals are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
inluence
with technology and social media.

In the past technology
was limited
. Factories were unable to produce massive production of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have no option except accepting the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. With limited option,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had no problems deciding witch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
puzzeled
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aboundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that became
Possible spelling mistake found.
avialable
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
techology
advancement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
style with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
compatitive
price,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dificult
time choosing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in the best. If there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
available at the market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
would have no other choice except buying this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
despite its
Possible spelling mistake found.
drow
backs.

In addition
to the previous point, the introduction of internet made it more difficult for younger adults to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had been buying their
Possible spelling mistake found.
priducts
according to their internal guts feeling. If they feel satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
immidetitly
without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
hasitation
. By introducing of information exchange through the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Products
have
Use past participle here: "become".
became
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
puzzeling
and more ambiguous.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unfortuniatly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday&
#039; s came to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
happite
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
internet reviews on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. Since the reviews could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
missleading
and confusing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could miss a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
oportunity
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Vancouver city last year, I wanted to rent an
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
. By searching online I came across to a nice
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
in a high rise building.
However
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
the reviews, I
was surprised
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedbacks on that building.
As a result
, I did not even give it a chance to
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
. Later on a friend of mine rented that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
appartment and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he
Possible spelling mistake found.
realy
enjoying the great
Possible spelling mistake found.
serveces
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
buiding
owners provided to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tanent
. If I did not relay on online information, I could rent this
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
.

As a conclusion, according to what I have
been discussed
Possible spelling mistake found.
previousely
, I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "assert"
asserts
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have difficulties to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
Possible spelling mistake found.
copare
to their peers in the past.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
currently
are more distracted with
Possible spelling mistake found.
aboundant
options available on the market and deceitful information on the internet.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay that it is easier for young people today to make decisions for their own lives than in the past v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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