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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v.32

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 32
Nowadays, the proportion of young to adult people is high in few nations. In my opinion, younger generation leads to higher productivity and less value to the country. This essay will discuss the advantages in detail. Firstly, young crowd contributes to the development of society by their involvement in various forms of employment. A nation makes progress when workforce is employed in producing goods or service in different industries, which can be utilized to export the goods and results in monetary benefit to the country. Additionally, new boys and girls have higher efficiency as opposed to the old age people. For example, Indian economy has grown by 10% since last 10 years compared to Russia, which is growing at the rate of 4% due to higher adult population. Secondly, the charge of expenditure in providing pension or other perks to the youngest life group is less because of their good health and the probability of them falls sick would be lesser when compare to a person with life above 50 or more. Moreover, it is compulsory for the government to provide subsidised schemes and pension to their countrymen, who is above youth 50, which further adds expenditure to the territory. For instance, a recent study proves that the medical facilities is mainly consumed by elder people due to their deteriorating health on a regular basis. In conclusion, the advantages are of greater significance than the disadvantages. Young adult aids in building the nation through its employability and less cost to the country.
Nowadays, the proportion of young to adult
people
is
high in few nations. In my opinion, younger generation leads to higher productivity and less value to the country. This essay will discuss the advantages in detail.

Firstly
, young crowd contributes to the development of society by their involvement in various forms of employment. A nation
makes
progress when workforce
is employed
in producing
goods
or service in
different
industries, which can
be utilized
to export the
goods
and results in monetary benefit to the country.
Additionally
, new boys and girls have higher efficiency as opposed to the
old
age
people
.
For example
, Indian economy has grown by 10% since last 10 years compared to Russia, which is growing at the rate of 4% due to higher adult population.

Secondly
, the charge of expenditure in providing pension or other perks to the youngest life group is less
because
of their
good
health and the probability of them falls sick would be lesser when compare to a person with life above 50 or more.
Moreover
, it is compulsory for the
government
to provide
subsidised
schemes and pension to their countrymen, who is above youth 50, which
further
adds
expenditure to the territory.
For instance
, a recent study proves that the medical facilities is
mainly
consumed by elder
people
due to their deteriorating health on a regular basis.

In conclusion
, the advantages are of greater significance than the disadvantages. Young adult aids in building the nation through its employability and less cost to the country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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