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In the recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In the recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
The people who prefer doing shopping in malls or big centers are increasing nowadays, due to the fact that the plenty of small shops have not enough sale in order to open. This situation is harmful to the society more than benefits. This essay will suggest both of them. It is clear that many people chose for shopping in bigger mall or they go outside of city for buying their necessaries. Not only cheaper price than small boutiques, but also some entertainments have been done in these shops. That is because, shopping centers have a big charming for the costumer. For instance, you can find anything in there, also you can have fun with the same time. All these advantages are in the malls. However, if you shop in a small one, you buy something you wanted only. Otherwise, even if these shooping habits are developed, they are the reasons of unemployment, which in caused from closed small shops. On the other hand, the small shops should be recognized reality against the big malls. They would be attractive for the costumers like others. They can do some companies to rise sales or some events can be done in these places. They might have a vision to keep their costumer. That is, they hire more workers and the society has not been affected negatively. For example, a band or a piano artist can play for them. In conclusion, there are some bad effects of the big malls, like unemployment, while the small shops can be more attractive for the costumers. The owner of these can act more consciously against the bigger centers in order to sale for everyone.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer doing shopping in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
centers are increasing nowadays, due to the fact that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sale in order to open. This situation is harmful to the society more than benefits. This essay will suggest both of them.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose for shopping in bigger
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mall or
they go outside of city for buying their necessaries. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cheaper price than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
boutiques,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainments have
been done
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, shopping centers have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
charming for the costumer.
For instance
, you can find anything in there,
also
you can have fun with the same time. All these advantages are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
However
, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something you wanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Otherwise
, even if these
Possible spelling mistake found.
shooping
habits
are developed
, they are the reasons of unemployment, which in caused from closed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
shops.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
should
be recognized
reality against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. They would be attractive for the costumers like others. They can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to rise sales or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
be done
in these places.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
might have a vision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their costumer.
That is
, they hire more workers and the society has not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
.
For example
, a band or a piano artist can play for them.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, like unemployment, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can be more attractive for the costumers. The owner of these can act more
consciously
against the bigger centers in order to sale for everyone.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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