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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.3

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 3
Over the lastest decade, shopping malls have attracted more clients to business, which has caused the bankrupt of several smaller local stores. From my perspective, this trend is detrimental due to the following reasons. To begin with, local commerces assist to build a wealthy community, since their owners are commonly from the city, which keeps the money inside the town. For instance, while the earnings of Walmart go direct to the US, the gains from small markets are spent on other regional stores, which develops the region. Additionally, small stores preserve the history of towns, as they regularly have unique architectures and decorations, as a result, people get to know better their identity and culture. Furthermore, large malls might cause more damages to the environment than regional shops, since their products require to be transported from different cities, states, and even nations, consequently increasing the release of gases to the atmosphere. To illustrate, studies have showed that multinational supermarkets consume 50% more fuel than small business, thanks to the transport of groceries throughout the countries. Moreover, products from larger stores tend to be more expensive than those ones from smaller places, because of the costs related to the transportation that are minimum in local regions, as a consequence, average citizens may not be able to afford the majority of these goods. To conclude, I do believe that the increasing number of shopping centers and malls over local business might be negative to society. Since not only are they more damaging to the planet, but they also negativelly affect the prosperity and history of communities.
Over the
lastest
decade, shopping malls have attracted more clients to business, which has caused the bankrupt of several smaller
local
stores
. From my perspective, this trend is detrimental due to the following reasons.

To
begin
with,
local
commerces
assist to build a wealthy community, since their owners are
commonly
from the city, which
keeps
the money inside the town.
For instance
, while the earnings of Walmart go direct to the US, the gains from
small
markets
are spent
on other regional
stores
, which develops the region.
Additionally
,
small
stores
preserve the history of towns, as they
regularly
have unique architectures and decorations,
as a result
,
people
get
to know better their identity and culture.

Furthermore
, large malls might cause more damages to the environment than regional shops, since their products require to
be transported
from
different
cities, states, and even nations,
consequently
increasing the release of gases to the atmosphere. To illustrate, studies have
showed
that multinational supermarkets consume 50% more fuel than
small
business, thanks to the transport of groceries throughout the countries.
Moreover
, products from larger
stores
tend to be more expensive than
those ones
from smaller places,
because
of the costs related to the transportation that are minimum in
local
regions, as a consequence, average citizens may not be able to afford the majority of these
goods
.

To conclude
, I do believe that the increasing number of shopping centers and malls over
local
business might be
negative
to society. Since not
only
are they more damaging to the planet,
but
they
also
negativelly
affect the prosperity and history of communities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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