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In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than it used to be in the past time. Some people consider it as positive development, however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.2

In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than it used to be in the past time. Some people consider it as positive development, however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. v. 2
In the today's generation, children have less responsibilities as compared to the kids of the earlier generation. Some people consider that it helps their children to grow, whereas, some of them feel that it may have a negative impact on their lives. In my opinion, it will surely have a negative impact on the children as it will make them more reliable on others. It is observed that in the past time, children were more responsible and sincere. They knew what are their duties, their culture, and were more obedient. Earlier in the country like India, the economy was very poor due to which there were no jobs, no technology, no support and no facilities. Even though, the kids were so intelligent, they knew how to take care of their families and get a better life. Therefore, it had a very positive impact on the children which helped them to grow. In the present era, it is seen that kids run away from their responsibilities and take things for granted. With the changing time and technology, things are easily available to the kids, due to which they do not understand the value of being responsible. This has made them irresponsible, unconcerned about the future and made them dependent on others and technology. I believe that it is a negative trend currently happening because they are lacking the importance of taking up the responsibilities. To conclude, if people start giving responsibilities to their children at an early age, they will start becoming confident and independent, which will help them prosper in their life. Getting fewer responsibilities makes a person lazy and unbothered about the majority of things. However, being a responsible person leads to an overall development of the personality.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun responsibilities is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
of the earlier generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow, whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them feel that it may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, it will
surely
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more reliable on others.

It
is observed
that in the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were more responsible and sincere. They knew what are their duties, their culture, and were more obedient. Earlier in the country like India, the economy was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor due to which there were no jobs, no technology, no support and no facilities.
Even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intelligent, they knew how to take care of their families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better life.
Therefore
, it had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to grow.

In the present era, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
run away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and take things for granted. With the changing time and technology, things are
easily
available to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, due to which they do not understand the value of being responsible. This has made them irresponsible, unconcerned about the future and made them dependent on others and technology. I believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend
currently
happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are lacking the importance of taking up the responsibilities.

To conclude
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
becoming confident and independent, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them prosper in their life. Getting fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person lazy and unbothered about the majority of things.
However
, being a responsible person leads to an
overall
development of the personality.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than it used to be in the past time. Some people consider it as positive development, however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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