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In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think it is a positive trend. v.18

In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. v. 18
The concept of shopping has changed over time. Although before it used to be done as a part of essential household chores commonly, many considered shopping as a hobby in present time. In my opinion, while I partially believe that it has a positive effect on individual, I also think taking shopping as a hobby has numerous damaging effect on family and society. To shop is regarded as an important pastime of individual life in this busy modern era. Peoples living in North American culture are easily stressed out and become exhausted after long working hours in office. Therefore, sometimes specially in winter, when there is less chance of outdoor activity, they just go to shopping mall probably thinking of buying something. Rather it works as an act of relaxation. For example, they may buy some stuffs along with window shopping, meeting with their friends or relatives, having coffee, enjoying movies in cineplex. All the activities help a person to start fresh for the next week, whatever stress they might have. So, when I think of that perspective, I partially believe that shopping as a hobby has some beneficial effect on personal life. However, taking shopping as a hobby has some serious effects on family and social life. Many people are just shopaholics, who buy stuffs just for the seek of buying, though they really do not need it at all. This can cause unnecessary wastage of money, social pressure to keep up with trends. The time they are wasting doing needless shopping can be used more creatively with the family. Thus, the bonding among family members is suffering. Another common issue is that, price for everything is continuously rising as opposed to the wage. So, for instance, for a person who do shopping for a hobby, needs a handsome salary to cope up with the demand. And to some extent due to this habit, they can go under huge debt, which is deleterious for the society. In conclusion, as because shopping at present offers lots of variation and choice than before, it is more enjoyable than buying necessities. Though, personal preference can make it pleasurable or painful, I think there should be a balance, then it will exert its positive effects.
The concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be done
as a part of essential household chores
commonly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
in present time. In my opinion, while I
partially
believe that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on individual, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
has numerous damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and society.

To shop
is regarded
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
pastime of individual life in this busy modern era. Peoples living in North American culture are
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out and become exhausted after long working hours in office.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
specially
in winter, when there is less chance of outdoor activity, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall
probably
thinking of buying something.
Rather
it works as an act of relaxation.
For example
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuffs along with window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, meeting with their friends or relatives, having coffee, enjoying movies in
Possible spelling mistake found.
cineplex
. All the activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fresh for the
next
week, whatever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
they might have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of that perspective, I
partially
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on personal life.

However
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and social life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
shopaholics, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the seek of buying, though they
really
do not need it at all. This can cause unnecessary wastage of money, social pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with trends. The time they are wasting doing needless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
creatively
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Thus
, the bonding among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members is suffering. Another common issue is that, price for everything is
continuously
rising as opposed to the wage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
for instance
, for a person who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
, needs a handsome salary to cope up with the demand. And to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent due to this habit, they can go under huge debt, which is deleterious for the society.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at present offers lots of variation and
Use "choicer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
choice
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it is more enjoyable than buying necessities. Though, personal preference can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it pleasurable or painful, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there should be a balance, then it will exert its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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