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In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think it is a positive trend. v.12

In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. v. 12
Some may argue that children should make own decision on a large variety of things, while other people argue that younger generation make daily choice lead to they always think about their own wished. I strongly believe that children should make own choice by themselves. In this essay, I will delve both points of views and give my opinion It is important that children make their own choice. This way could help children learn to be independence and grow up into a strong adult who achieve success. Research indicates that cognitive development happens faster among children who make own decision than those who do not. For example, children will choose an occupation in the future what they want to become. Even if they are not able to consider a comprehensive thought in this job, however, having of thinking and making a decision can enhance their development of ideas. On the contrary, making own decision led children to selfish. They may choose persistently they want instead of consider about other people thought. For an instant, my little brother has always controlled television program what they want to watch, he does not concert about rest of family members. This situation may have led to a lack of emotional intelligence and development of mental. In addition, this attitude will impact their relationship with others. To conclusion with the arguments given above, I extremely believe that it is quite essential that children make own determination. furthermore, they should learn to respect the decisions and choices of others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on a large variety of things, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that younger generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
lead to they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wished. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
by themselves. In this essay, I will delve both points of views and give my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
opinion


It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. This way could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to be independence and grow up into a strong adult who achieve success. Research indicates that cognitive development happens faster among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
than those who do not.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will choose an occupation in the future what they want to become. Even if they are not able to consider a comprehensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in this job,
however
, having of thinking and making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
can enhance their development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

On the contrary
, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to selfish. They may choose
persistently
they want
instead
of
Did you mean simply "consider other"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. For an instant, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother has always controlled television program what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, he does not concert about rest of family members. This situation may have led to a lack of emotional intelligence and development of mental.
In addition
, this attitude will impact their relationship with others.

To conclusion with the arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, I
extremely
believe that it is quite essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
determination.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, they should learn to respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of others.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people now-a -days regard it as a hobby. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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