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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? v.16

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. v. 16
The twenty-first century has seen a rapid increase in the markets. To go to shopping is a simple deal for modern people, however, even a century ago it was a hard procedure. From my point of view, to be able to go to stores and feel ease is really beneficial, because it might be one of the ways to release stress and, also, it is, perhaps, an equivalent to physical trainings for some people. First reason, why shopping as a hobby is a positive trend, is relaxation method. To put it another way, the majority of the population all over the world work twelve hours a day with only two or one day weekend and that is why, especially for mothers, shopping is kinds of relaxation therapies. For instance, modern mothers go to supermarkets every day and spend there at least 30 minutes. They find it a useful way to forget about their jobs and give eyes to relax from computer and phone. However, some people prefer release stress differently. Secondly, more and more people all over the globe have a sedentary lifestyle. Fro low active people shopping is a great opportunity to restart a blood supply and do a little workout. For example, one hour of shopping is might be equal to one hour of walking, which may burn approximately 200 calories. Nevertheless, even though, some super lazy people can order everything what they need online. In conclusion, more people find shopping as a pleasant outing and it is an advantage for their life, because it is might be stress treatment or workout remover. Therefore, it is recommended to go to shopping more often if you are tired of job or have a low active lifestyle.
The twenty-
first
century has
seen
a rapid increase in the markets. To go to
shopping
is a simple deal for modern
people
,
however
, even a century ago it was a
hard
procedure. From my point of view, to be able to go to stores and feel
ease
is
really
beneficial,
because
it might be one of the ways to release
stress
and,
also
, it is, perhaps, an equivalent to physical trainings for
some
people
.

First
reason, why
shopping
as a hobby is a
positive
trend, is relaxation method. To put it another way, the majority of the population all over the world work twelve hours a day with
only
two or one day weekend and
that is
why,
especially
for mothers,
shopping
is kinds of relaxation therapies.
For instance
, modern mothers go to supermarkets every day and spend there at least 30 minutes. They find it a useful way to forget about their jobs and give eyes to relax from computer and phone.
However
,
some
people
prefer release
stress
differently
.

Secondly
, more and more
people
all over the globe have a sedentary lifestyle.
Fro
low active
people
shopping
is a great opportunity to restart a blood supply and do a
little
workout.
For example
, one hour of
shopping
is might be equal to one hour of walking, which may burn approximately 200 calories.
Nevertheless
,
even though
,
some
super
lazy
people
can order everything what they need online.

In conclusion
, more
people
find
shopping
as a pleasant outing and it is an advantage for their life,
because
it is might be
stress
treatment or workout remover.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
to go to
shopping
more
often
if you
are tired
of job or have a low active lifestyle.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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