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Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. v. 1
There are a growing number of people are concerned about concerning the impacts of climate change. Some hold the belief that only individuals need to take responsibility for this issue rather than companies and governments. I personally completely disagree with this point of view and I believe that both individuals and every official and non-official institution cannot shirk responsibility. Undoubtedly, human behaviour is the major contribution of climate change which means we all need to be accountable for it. According to scientific experts, the amount of pollutant we produced has increased constantly and continue to increase as a result of overpopulation and overdevelopment. The best, also the simplest approach to tackle this issue is everybody makes efforts on this through recycling as much as possible and reducing unnecessary waste. We are the main reason why it caused and we also cannot skirt the responsibility. Keep contributing personal effort can be a great accumulation to mitigate climate change. However, due to global warming and unpredictable extreme climate is a global-scale issue, it also needs not only individuals but both corporations' and governments' support. Dealing with this problem is not easy and it normally requires an extraordinary amount of money and professional skills. Industries can eliminate relatively less eco-friendly products and provide recyclable items to the public. Meanwhile, governments can try to create or develop renewable energy which is less likely to destruct our natural environment and reduce the negative consequences it caused. Those measures above are what cannot be taken by average people and they are necessary. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the perspective that only individuals need to take responsibility for climate change. I am convinced that both personal contributions, businesses, and governments are accountable for this unavoidable problem.
There are a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about concerning the impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
hold the belief that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take responsibility for this issue
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. I
personally
completely disagree with this point of view and I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and every official and non-official institution cannot shirk responsibility.

Undoubtedly
, human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is the major contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which means we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be accountable for it. According to scientific experts, the amount of pollutant we produced has increased
constantly
and continue to increase
as a result
of overpopulation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
overdevelopment
. The best,
also
the simplest approach to tackle this issue is everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
efforts on this through recycling as much as possible and reducing unnecessary waste. We are the main reason why it
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
caused and
we
also
cannot skirt the responsibility.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
contributing personal effort can be a great accumulation to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

However
, due to global warming and unpredictable extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
is a global-scale issue, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both corporations' and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' support. Dealing with this problem is not easy and it
normally
requires an extraordinary amount of money and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Industries can eliminate
relatively
less eco-friendly products and provide recyclable items to the public. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can try to create or develop renewable energy which is less likely to destruct our natural environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences it caused. Those measures above are what cannot
be taken
by average
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they are necessary.

In conclusion
, I
totally
disagree with the perspective that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. I
am convinced
that both personal contributions, businesses, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are accountable for this unavoidable problem.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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