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In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v.3

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v. 3
With increasing employment opportunities across the world, people are finding it beneficial to move to different places, instead of staying in a particular place throughout. It is quite interesting to explore and experience various cultures of many people, hence people tend to move from one place to another often. Fixating at one place has its own advantages and disadvantages. Residing in single brings people closer. For example, in the earlier days, people preferred to be a part of joint families and owned large houses in their respective villages or towns. Moving apart from their loved ones is a taboo except in rare scenarios. Eventually, this helps establishing strong connections among people. On the other hand, regular shifting would cost an arm and a leg. Although, this method limits the knowledge and opportunities, people in the past, preferred a safe and secure habits over nomadic ones. Working in several cities and countries provides us with a chance to earn in dollars, thereby elevating their standard of living. As an example, a software engineer in foreign countries can own a property in a short period of time compared to an engineer in India. Moreover, these days people are interested to lead a lifestyle that is simple and interesting. Also, they do not have the burden or responsibility of large families that is stopping them to shift places. So, I can conclude saying that, both have their own advantages and disadvantages, and it is up on the interest of the individual to choose his life style according to the situation, and also, analysing the pros and cons of each.
With increasing employment opportunities across the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are finding it beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
instead
of staying in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
throughout. It is quite interesting to explore and experience various cultures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. Fixating at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.

Residing in single brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer.
For example
, in the earlier days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred to be a part of joint families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in their respective villages or towns. Moving apart from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones is a taboo except in rare scenarios.
Eventually
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to establish" or "establish".
establishing
strong connections among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the other hand
, regular shifting would cost an arm and a leg. Although, this method limits the knowledge and opportunities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past, preferred a safe and secure habits over nomadic ones.

Working in several cities and countries provides us with a chance to earn in dollars, thereby elevating their standard of living. As an example, a software engineer in foreign countries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a property in a short period of time compared to an engineer in India.
Moreover
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
to lead a lifestyle
that is
simple and interesting.
Also
, they do not have the burden or responsibility of large families
that is
stopping them to shift places.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I can conclude saying that, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages, and it is up on the interest of the individual to choose his life style according to the situation, and
also
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the pros and cons of each.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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