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In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
It is true that in contemporary society, there are no longer many noticable differences among distinguished cities around the globe, while in the past, people were extremely keen on traveling to discover new features that their regions did not possess. In my opinion, this tendency can be explained in various ways and it may bring about both negative and positive consequences. There are two main reasons why cross-country cities are becoming the same. Firstly, developing nations have adopted a great number of architectural styles from their developed counterparts in order to create a modern appearance. To exemplify this, Vietnamese people used to build traditional stilt houses for accomodation but these days, they are more likely to be interested in foreign designs such as French villa. Secondly, international cuisine has also integrated in every country. Therefore, visitors often see several restaurants serving their home country’s food when travelling to other parts of the world. On the one hand, acculturation can be positive to some extent. It is obvious that nowadays, immigrants can quickly adapt to a new living environment compared to various difficulties they had to encounter formerly. For example, when settling in Korea, my Japanese friend has found using subway rather easy because she was accustomed to it since living in Japan. On the other hand, the similarities among cities across the world can be considered from an opposite angle. The development of those cities’ tourism industry might be gradually decelerated due to the lack of cultural uniqueness. Particularly, there will be a significant decline in the number of foreign visitors coming to each nation. In conclusion, in this day and age, numerous cities in different continents have certain characteristics in common, but not all of the outcomes resulting from this phenomenon have been positive.
It is true that in contemporary society, there are no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
noticable
differences among distinguished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the globe, while in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
extremely
keen on traveling to discover new features that their regions did not possess. In my opinion, this tendency can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in various ways and it may bring about both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences.

There are two main reasons why cross-country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming the same.
Firstly
, developing nations have adopted a great number of architectural styles from their developed counterparts in order to create a modern appearance. To exemplify this, Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build traditional stilt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days, they are more likely to
be interested
in foreign designs such as French villa.
Secondly
, international cuisine has
also
integrated in every country.
Therefore
, visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
several restaurants serving their home country’s food when travelling to other parts of the world.

On the one hand, acculturation can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. It is obvious that nowadays, immigrants can
quickly
adapt to a new living environment compared to various difficulties they had to encounter
formerly
.
For example
, when settling in Korea, my Japanese friend has found using subway
rather
easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
was accustomed
to it since living in Japan.
On the other hand
, the similarities among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
across the world can
be considered
from an opposite angle. The development of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
tourism industry might be
gradually
decelerated due to the lack of cultural uniqueness.
Particularly
, there will be a significant decline in the number of foreign visitors coming to each nation.

In conclusion
, in this day and age, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
continents have certain characteristics in common,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
outcomes resulting from this phenomenon have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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