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In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v.2

In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 2
It is argued by some individuals that subjects like mathematics and philosophy have to be made optional instead of compulsory since some children find them tough. The essay will explain why mathematics and philosophy must not be made optional; followed by a reasoned conclusion. Mathematics is a subject, which is avoided by many students and some people support the idea to make it electable. Nevertheless, every kid needs to learn the basic of mathematics and the benefits of this subject cannot be neglected. Those students who do not learn mathematics during their school days, they suffer a lot while calculating basic things. Therefore, mentors need to use a tailored approach to teach these abilities to the children in a way that such subjects do not look hard. A research conducted by a professor of a prominent university said that maths is not merely a subject but it is a workout for developing brains. Philosophy teaches about moral values, reason, mind, and language. It not only stimulates critical thinking skills in children, but also improves their communication abilities, which are conducive for every child. Thus, educators need to teach their subject in an engaging method so everyone can get the concepts easily. For example, if a student does not learn important skills like critical thinking during their formative years, it would be a great loss of a child who is in his developing stage. In conclusion, even though there is no doubt that many students find mathematics and philosophy quite hard to study, the pertinence of these subjects cannot be overlooked because both the subjects play a vital role in the growth of child’s cognitive abilities.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and philosophy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be made
optional
instead
of compulsory since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children find them tough. The essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and philosophy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be made
optional; followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Mathematics is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, which
is avoided
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it electable.
Nevertheless
, every kid needs to learn the basic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and the benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
cannot
be neglected
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
during their school days, they suffer a lot while calculating basic things.
Therefore
, mentors need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a tailored approach to teach these abilities to the children in a way that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
do not look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
conducted by a professor of a prominent university said that
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
is not
merely
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a workout for developing brains.

Philosophy teaches about moral values, reason, mind, and language. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stimulates critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their communication abilities, which are conducive for every child.
Thus
, educators need to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in an engaging method
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the concepts
easily
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like critical thinking during their formative years, it would be a great loss of a child who is in his developing stage.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
and philosophy quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to study, the pertinence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
cannot
be overlooked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
play a vital role in the growth of child’s cognitive abilities.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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