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In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge in the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge in the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
In recent decades, the usage of internet has been flourishing so much that people initiated to save knowledge in the internet, however, it has a certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of storing information in the internet is its convenience to save vast amount of information and with the help of immediate pace of internet data will spread faster than the book throughout the world. Firstly, internet is the limitless accumulation of data from the variety of resources. On the other hand, book is limited by its page quantity, therefore, solely given information should be kept in books. Secondly, for the flow of time the quantity of people who enjoy reading a book has been decreasing considerably. In other words, since the invention of websites, which were established for people' s enjoyment, people has been moderately addicting to the google, youtube and other websites. Based upon this demographic trend, the most efficient method to spread the information throughout the world is storing the data in the internet. However, internet stored information has some drawbacks that should be mentioned, like the occasional demolition of folder, and the invasion of cyber crime. Firstly, the issue whether the information that kept in the internet is durable or not, should be concerned in this case. In other words, one might delete the wrong file instead of document that must be deleted. As a consequence, it brings a considerable amount of regret towards the deleted file. In addition, if the personal information such as, bank accounts have been stored in the internet, it will attract criminals and perhaps you will encounter with cyber crime. Nonetheless, all these problems will just depend upon the individual and his/her responsibility towards internet. By way of conclusion, albeit storing data in the internet is beneficial overall, it may have some particular disadvantages as I mentioned earlier. The flourish of internet internet storing method has been taking the place in many corners of the world. Therefore, the debate has been yielded by many people whether it is advantageous or not. In my opinion, I strongly support the perspective that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
In recent decades, the usage of internet has been flourishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
initiated to save knowledge
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
,
however
, it has a certain
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "drawback"?
drawbacks
too. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.

The two main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
is its convenience to save vast amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of immediate pace of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
will spread faster than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
throughout the world.
Firstly
, internet is the limitless accumulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
from the variety of resources. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is limited
by its page quantity,
therefore
,
solely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Secondly
, for the flow of time the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who enjoy reading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
has been decreasing
considerably
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, since the invention of websites, which
were established
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s enjoyment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been
moderately
addicting to the
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
websites. Based upon this demographic trend, the most efficient method to spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
throughout the world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.

However
, internet stored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that should
be mentioned
, like the occasional demolition of folder, and the invasion of cyber crime.
Firstly
, the issue whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
is durable or not, should
be concerned
in this case
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, one might delete the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
file
instead
of document that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be deleted
. As a consequence, it brings a considerable amount of regret towards the deleted file.
In addition
, if the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as, bank accounts have
been stored
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
, it will attract criminals and perhaps you will encounter with cyber crime. Nonetheless, all these problems will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
depend upon the individual and his/her responsibility towards internet.

By way of conclusion, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
is beneficial
overall
, it may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular disadvantages as I mentioned earlier. The flourish of
Possible typo: you repeated a word
internet internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storing
method has been taking the place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corners of the world.
Therefore
, the debate has
been yielded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether it is advantageous or not. In my opinion, I
strongly
support the perspective that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge in the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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