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In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view? . v.7

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. with this view? . v. 7
It is sometimes suggested that the network have clearly materials about museums, thus lack of humans are not prefer visit this structure with culture and own history. I strongly disagree that galleries are no needed to participate for people. Firstly, this essay will discuss the possible gains after visited museum, and secondly, it will analyze potential harmful of online sources for storage. The primary reason why public must go to museum is that they can change their vision about environment by the seeing some materials in real life. This is because in real life we fully shipped into the museum’s atmosphere, where we might touch a bones of t-rex or we can read the old book, which wrote by the person in the past. As a result society might provide this time with benefits, because it is a golden opportunity to recognize the old environment habits or they will make sure that dinosaurs are being real in the past. A prime example is art center that names “Foundation”, it has a statue of pirates and people may read about life in the 17th century. Another point to consider is that web-sites with the information about institutions are risky to being valid. The reason for this is that not all galleries may have the truest studies about the past time. As a consequence lack of humans may remember a no need information about the previous centuries. For instance, government of Kazakhstan was identified that 75 per cent of museums have a valid data about the past. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that people should participate the academies for unbelievable feelings. This is due to the fact that public may touch some dinosaur’s bones with their hands and the web versions of gallery’s is not only true.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
suggested that the network have
clearly
materials about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
thus
lack of humans are not
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
visit this structure with culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
history. I
strongly
disagree that galleries are no needed to participate for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the possible gains after visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, and
secondly
, it will analyze potential harmful of online sources for storage.

The primary reason why public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their vision about environment by the seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
materials in real life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in real life we
fully
shipped into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum’s
atmosphere, where we might touch
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a bone" or simply "bones"?
a bones
of
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
t-rex or
we can read the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
book, which wrote by the person in the past.
As a result
society might provide this time with benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a golden opportunity to recognize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
environment
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habits or
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that dinosaurs are being real in the past. A prime example is art center that names “Foundation”, it has a statue of pirates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may read about life in the 17th century.

Another point to consider is that web-sites with the information about institutions are risky to being valid.
The reason for this is
that not all galleries may have the truest studies about the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a consequence lack of humans may remember a no need information about the previous centuries.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Kazakhstan
was identified
that 75 per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
Possible agreement error
have
a valid data about the past.

In conclusion
, I am
firmly
convinced that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should participate the academies for unbelievable feelings.
This is due to the fact that
public may touch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dinosaur’s bones with their hands and the web versions of gallery’s is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
true.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. with this view? . v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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