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Many important historical figures have served in the United States with dignity and empathy for the country. Some people believe that Martin Luther King and John Kennedy are the most known leaders for what they did during the time that they were serving. v.1

Many important historical figures have served in the United States with dignity and empathy for the country. Some people believe that Martin Luther King and John Kennedy are the most known leaders for what they did during the time that they were serving. v. 1
Many important historical figures have served in the United States with dignity and empathy for the country. Some people believe that Martin Luther King and John Kennedy are the most known leaders for what they did during the time that they were serving. While others argue that they are not the only ones who contributed widely in order to keep the States united. Personally, I think that another historical figure that had the same importance as Martin Luther King and John Kennedy was the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. One of the reasons that Abraham Lincoln was so influential in the history of the United States is because he fought for the human rights of slaves and ended slavery. If Lincoln didn’t address the slavery problems, then the States might have faced many difficulties that would have challenged the freedom of the entire country. Even though he fought for the end of slavery and implemented law, it wasn’t welcomed by many people who lived in the South. Still with his determination for solving this situation, he was successful in ending slavery in America. Because of this, Abraham Lincoln remains one of the most the important historical figures. Another reason is that Abraham Lincoln continued to preserve the Union during the U. S. civil war between the North and the South. If the United States wouldn’t have considered the emancipation proclamation then the civil war wouldn’t have ended and it would have ultimately divided the country. Even though Lincoln supported the Union, which opposed slavery, he ended up assassinated from people that disagreed with his ideas. Because of his determination to keep united the north and the South, Lincoln is going to be remembered forever in the history of the country. In summary, Lincoln is a key figure in the American history. He will be remembered as a president who ended slavery, while preserving the Union between the south and the north.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
historical figures have served in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
with dignity and empathy for the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that Martin Luther King and John Kennedy are the most known leaders for what they did during the time that they were serving.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others argue that they are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones who contributed
widely
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
united
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that another historical figure that had the same importance as Martin Luther King and John Kennedy was the 16th president of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
, Abraham Lincoln.

One of the reasons that Abraham Lincoln was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
influential in the history of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he fought for the human rights of slaves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
. If Lincoln didn’t address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
problems, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
might have faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
would
have challenged the freedom of the entire country.
Even though
he fought for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
and implemented law, it wasn’t welcomed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the South.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
with his determination for solving this situation, he was successful in ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
in America.
Because of this
, Abraham Lincoln remains one of the most the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
historical figures.

Another reason is that Abraham Lincoln continued to preserve the Union during the U. S. civil war between the North and the South. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
wouldn’t have considered the emancipation proclamation then the civil war wouldn’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ended
and it would have
ultimately
divided the country.

Even though
Lincoln supported the Union, which opposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ended
up assassinated from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that disagreed with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of his determination to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
united
the north and the South, Lincoln is going to
be remembered
forever in the history of the country.

In summary, Lincoln is a key figure in the American history. He will
be remembered
as a president who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slavery
, while preserving the Union between the south and the north.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many important historical figures have served in the United States with dignity and empathy for the country. Some people believe that Martin Luther King and John Kennedy are the most known leaders for what they did during the time that they were serving. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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