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In the past, most people spent their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v.2

In the past, most people spent their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v. 2
After clearing the graduation milestone, the next big event in anyone's life is getting a job. A few have difficuilty finding the right job and eventually keep on frequently changing their employer while others are lucky to find it in the first attempt and tend to remain with the same employer for their entire career life. While both the approaches may have its own advantages and disadvantages, I believe in working with a particular firm for extended period is far more beneficial than continuously switching between employers and this essay would discuss the positives and negetives of both approaches in detail. Firstly, people frequently change their jobs mainly because they are unsatisfied with the working environment or they want a higher salary. Whatever be the reason, the primary advantage of changing firms is the opportunity to learn different technology and science. For example, in the IT sector, different companies use different coding languages depending upon their work culture and an IT engineer switching between different firm gets a hands on experience working with different computer languages thus increasing his knowledge. However, on the downside, the hiring manager may consider it otherwise, such as being fired due to misconduct. Due to this many hiring managers perform a background check of such applicants. On the other hand, some may not change their employers much frequently, may be because of family issues or they are working for a reputed firm with a high salary. Such approach helps people settle down in a particular city and not worry about the hazel of shifting to different cities. According to survey conducted amongst the city migrants in New York, around 60% of them said that, finding an accommodation is the second most difficult task next to finding a job. On the contrary, continuing with the same company for the entire career life may get monotonous and boring. Despite of it becoming monotonous after sometime, the employee can surely ask for a transfer in some other section and have a fresh start in a different department while still serving the same establishment. In conclusion, frequently changing jobs has many positive implications and knowledge expansion is one of them, however, spending entire working life with a single firm is more beneficial as it helps a individual to settle down. In my opinion, the advantage of working for a particular company outweighs its own disadvantage and is far better than constantly changing the company.
After clearing the graduation milestone, the
next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in anyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A few have
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficuilty
finding the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
while others are lucky to find it in the
first
attempt and tend to remain with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
for their entire career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While both the approaches may have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages, I believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
for extended period is far more beneficial than
continuously
switching between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and this essay would discuss the positives and
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetives
of both approaches in detail.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are unsatisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment or
they want a higher salary. Whatever be the reason, the primary advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
is the opportunity to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
technology and science.
For example
, in the IT sector,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
coding languages depending upon their work culture and an IT engineer switching between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a hands on experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
computer languages
thus
increasing his knowledge.
However
, on the downside, the hiring manager may consider it
otherwise
, such as
being fired
due to misconduct. Due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hiring managers perform a background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
of such applicants.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequently
, may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of family
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issues or
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a reputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
with a high salary. Such approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
settle down in a particular city and not worry about the hazel of shifting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cities. According to survey conducted amongst the city migrants in New York, around 60% of them said that, finding
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
is the second most difficult task
next
to finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
On the contrary
, continuing with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for the entire career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
monotonous and boring.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
it becoming monotonous after sometime, the employee can
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a transfer in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other section and have a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
department while
still
serving the same establishment.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications and knowledge expansion is one of them,
however
, spending entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
is more beneficial as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individual to settle down. In my opinion, the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
outweighs its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantage and is far better than
constantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In the past, most people spent their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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