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Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.3

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement. v. 3
Fast and safe transport arrangement and improved communication are two important aspects of the development of a country. Every power works for its citizens to commute safely and quickly while businesses and also depend on a solid transport structure. Thus when the question arises whether an authority should focus on improving its railways or roads, people seem like having divided opinions. I personally agree that a state should spend more money on railways rule. Fastest of all, railways offer safe commuting both for the citizens and traders. The numbers of road accidents and highway casualties in many countries are far higher than that of the railway casualties. Thus investing more in a safe way of commuting is a much more prudent idea. Rails cause comparatively less environmental damage while the road vehicles are the main reason for increasing pollution around the world. Second, rails can carry hundreds of people and several hundred tonnes of goods while road transports can carry only a few. Some shuttle trains are many times faster than that of private cars and public buses. Thus improved railways would save peoples’ valuable time every day. And next, rail lines are usually away from the main cities and that is why some busy cities have no other alternatives than to improve their rail shipment scheme. Express trains can reduce the traffic congestion in many cities and more investment to improve the railway is the only possible solutions in cities where a large number of people live in. In general, the population of the world is increasing rapidly and that is why investing more money on faster and dependable transit arrangement is more logical than investing in the older transport structure. The railways will be the future of shipping and investment in it is the better choice for any ministry. In conclusion, I believe that a politics, either in a developed or a developing country, should invest to build a safer, faster and more reliable shipping organization and the railway, for this reason, should get a priority.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
arrangement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
communication are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of the development of a country. Every power works for its citizens to commute
safely
and
quickly
while businesses and
also
depend on a solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
structure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
when the question arises whether an authority should focus on improving its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem like having divided opinions. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a state should spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.

Fastest of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
offer safe commuting both for the citizens and traders. The numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents and highway casualties in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are far higher than that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
casualties.
Thus
investing more
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
of commuting is a much more prudent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Rails cause
comparatively
less environmental damage while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicles are the main reason for increasing pollution around the world.

Second, rails can carry hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and several hundred tonnes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
can carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
shuttle trains are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times faster than that of private cars and public buses.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
would save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
valuable time every day. And
next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
lines are
usually
away from the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have no other alternatives than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
shipment scheme. Express trains can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and more investment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In general
, the population of the world is increasing
rapidly
and
that is
why investing more money on faster and dependable transit arrangement is more logical than investing in the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
structure. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
will be the future of shipping and investment in it is the better choice for any ministry.

In conclusion
, I believe that a politics, either in a developed or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
, should invest to build a safer, faster and more reliable shipping organization and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
,
for this reason
, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a priority.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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