Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 2
The world of technology has changed the ways of fulfilling the preferences of people. People are now no longer dependent on animals for their basic needs such as foods or medicines. I do believe the same, which I will discuss in my essay There are many reasons behind this saying. First is that now people have become too much aware about the conservation of the animals, because they have knowledge about that they may be extinct with their great use. Hence, they have invented new ways to fulfil their needs. For instance, now people are becoming vegetarian, so that they may don't have to eat animals for their food. Furthermost, the government has made strict rules to avoid the use of animals for getting food and clothes medicines from wildlife. So people are forced to restrict the use of same. Nowadays, of government found anyone guilty of doing the crime against animals he/she gets fined. For example, Salman Khan and some his friends were punished be government for hunting the black deer in India. So these kind of acts restricts the people from doing illegal acts against animals. In the conclusion, I believe that there are many reasons behind the less use of animals for making medicines and clothing.
The world of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the ways of fulfilling the preferences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
no longer dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their basic needs such as foods or medicines. I do believe the same, which I will discuss in my essay

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this saying.
First
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become too much aware about the conservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have knowledge about that they may be extinct with their great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Hence
, they have invented new ways to fulfil their needs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming vegetarian,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their food.

Furthermost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has made strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for getting food and clothes medicines from wildlife.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to restrict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of same. Nowadays, of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found anyone guilty of doing the crime against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
fined.
For example
, Salman Khan and
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "his friends" or "some friends"?
some his friends
were punished
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for hunting the black deer in India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of acts restricts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from doing illegal acts against animals.

In the conclusion, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind the less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for making medicines and clothing.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts