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In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
In the technology era, people are able to shop, work and communicate online. From my perspective, while there are a variety of positive aspects for this trend, there are some drawbacks of having less face-to-face contact that need taking into account. On the one hand, the internet comes in handy in many ways. People can communicate with their friends and relatives via social networks such as Facebook or Skype by sending a text or even join a group video call. Many also use the internet for online shopping since it is time-saving and they can easily compare the prices in different stores. In addition, more and more people can work or study from home, which is much more convenient because they can do at hours that suits their own schedule. This, consequently, would have improve the traffic congestion due to the lower number of vehicles, especially during rush hours. On the other hand, several negative aspects of this trend should be considered. Firstly, friendships which are formed online might not be genuine. For instance, the media carries many horror stories of youngsters being incited to commit a crime by their friends who they have met online. Secondly, in terms of shopping, it is undoubtedly better to try on clothes before buying, and another disadvantage of online shopping is sometimes delivery might cause damages to the products. Finally, personal interaction with work colleagues can easily generate ideas and avoid misunderstandings. In conclusion, while there are obvious benefits of this tendency, there are also aspects of face-to-face contact which would be a shame to lose.
In the technology era,
people
are able to shop, work and communicate
online
. From my perspective, while there are a variety of
positive
aspects for this trend, there are
some
drawbacks of having less face-to-face contact that need taking into account.

On the one hand, the internet
comes
in handy in
many
ways.
People
can communicate with their friends and relatives via social networks such as Facebook or Skype by sending a text or even
join
a group video call.
Many
also
use
the internet for
online
shopping since it is
time-saving and
they can
easily
compare the prices in
different
stores.
In addition
, more and more
people
can work or study from home, which is much more convenient
because
they can do at hours that suits their
own
schedule. This,
consequently
, would have
improve
the traffic congestion due to the lower number of vehicles,
especially
during rush hours.

On the other hand
, several
negative
aspects of this trend should
be considered
.
Firstly
, friendships which
are formed
online
might not be genuine.
For instance
, the media carries
many
horror stories of youngsters
being incited
to commit a crime by their friends who they have met
online
.
Secondly
, in terms of shopping, it is
undoubtedly
better to try on clothes
before
buying, and another disadvantage of
online
shopping is
sometimes
delivery might cause damages to the products.
Finally
, personal interaction with work colleagues can
easily
generate
ideas
and avoid misunderstandings.

In conclusion
, while there are obvious benefits of this tendency, there are
also
aspects of face-to-face contact which would be a shame to lose.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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