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Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. v. 1
In recent years, governments in countries have directed their attention to alternative sources of energy such as solar, nuclear or tidal energy. In my opinion, this trend could be both advantages and disadvantages, as now will be discussed. To begin with, there is an ample convincing evidence that renewable energy is undoubtedly a step forward in the future. Firstly, it is clear that alternative energy is unlimited while fossil fuel will soon exhaust due to the increasing demand today. Already, for this reason, depending on non renewable energy cannot guarantee long-term sustainability. Human should therefore seek for other or additional sources of energy which are more reliable and sustainable sooner or later. Secondly, environmental pollution is starting to grow owing to the combustion of fossil fuels through production process. In addition, exhaust fumes from vehicles which run on oil or petroleum can also contribute to the greenhouse gases and global warming. However, if a more eco-friendly source of power like solar or wind is used instead, our world will become greener and therefore, people’s health can be improved. Despite the good impacts mentioned above, I believe that using alternative energy could be detrimental to some extent. Firstly, nuclear energy can be turn into a weapon. The pace of our world would not be endangered unless it is possessed by terrorist organizations. Secondly, this type of energy is largely dependent on weather, which may cause interruptions in power supply. It is almost impossible, for example, people use solar power in cloudy days. It goes without saying that the use of nuclear power can be put human’s life in jeopardy. Nuclear radiation accident in Japan is an example, which had led to numerous lethal effects to individuals and disasters to the surrounding environment. In conclusion, although the benefit of alternative sources is unquestionable but its downsides should not be overlooked as well. Governments should therefore take serious consideration before coming up with the most suitable type of energy for their countries.
In recent years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in countries have directed their attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as solar, nuclear or tidal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In my opinion, this trend could be both advantages and disadvantages, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will
be discussed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is an ample convincing evidence that renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
undoubtedly
a step forward in the future.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is unlimited
while fossil fuel will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
exhaust due to the increasing demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Already,
for this reason
, depending on
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
cannot guarantee long-term sustainability. Human should
therefore
seek for other or additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which are more reliable and sustainable sooner or later.
Secondly
, environmental pollution is starting to grow owing to the combustion of fossil fuels through production process.
In addition
, exhaust fumes from vehicles which run on oil or petroleum can
also
contribute to the greenhouse gases and global warming.
However
, if a more eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
like solar or wind is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
, our world will become greener and
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts mentioned above, I believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could be detrimental to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Firstly
, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "turned".
turn
into a weapon. The pace of our world would not
be endangered
unless it
is possessed
by terrorist organizations.
Secondly
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
largely
dependent on weather, which may cause interruptions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
supply. It is almost impossible,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in cloudy days. It goes without saying that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
can
be put
human’s life in jeopardy. Nuclear radiation accident in Japan is an example, which had led to numerous lethal effects to individuals and disasters to the surrounding environment.

In conclusion
, although the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
is unquestionable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its downsides should not
be overlooked
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
therefore
take serious consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming up with the most suitable type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
for their countries.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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