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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
It is the fact that people nowadays can easily use the Internet for shopping, work and communication without any direct interaction with others. In my opinion, this digital platform would bring certain benefits but there might also be some drawbacks. There are two fundamental advantages of using the Internet for the purposes mentioned above. Firstly, thanks to the availability of the Internet, it does not take people much effort to contact someone all over the world, especially those who live in remote areas, because this technology eliminates the inconvenience of distance. By clicking the mouse or touching on the screen, we could have a conversation via social networking applications. For example, because of her hectic working schedule in Canada, my aunt could not return to Vietnam regularly to visit relatives, so she uses communication tools such as Skype and Viber to contact us when possible. Secondly, online interaction is more flexible compared with the traditional one due to a significant reduction in travel time. For instance, we can go shopping or book a movie ticket while working at the office. Despite the benefits mentioned above, I believe that online communication brings several disadvantages. Using the Internet excessively could constrain the development of social skills such as cognitive ability and presentation skill. This is because it is challenging to show body languages or facial expressions through the Internet. Furthermore, when we become over-reliant on this technology, we gradually no longer communicate directly with others, which may lead to an emotionless attitude in society. For example, when entering a milk tea shop, it is easy to encounter groups of young people just staring at the smartphone screens without interacting with each other. In conclusion, I argue that depending on the Internet for daily purposes such as shopping, work and communication has both beneficial and detrimental effects.
It is the fact that
people
nowadays can
easily
use
the Internet for shopping, work and
communication
without any direct interaction with others. In my opinion, this digital platform would bring certain benefits
but
there might
also
be
some
drawbacks.

There are two fundamental advantages of using the Internet for the purposes mentioned above.
Firstly
, thanks to the availability of the Internet, it does not take
people
much effort to contact someone all over the world,
especially
those who
live
in remote areas,
because
this technology eliminates the inconvenience of distance. By clicking the mouse or touching on the screen, we could have a conversation via social networking applications.
For example
,
because
of her hectic working schedule in Canada, my aunt could not return to Vietnam
regularly
to visit relatives,
so
she
uses
communication
tools such as Skype and
Viber
to contact us when possible.
Secondly
, online interaction is more flexible compared with the traditional one due to a significant reduction in travel time.
For instance
, we can go shopping or book a movie ticket while working at the office.

Despite the benefits mentioned above, I believe that online
communication
brings several disadvantages. Using the Internet
excessively
could constrain the development of social
skills
such as cognitive ability and presentation
skill
. This is
because
it is challenging to
show
body languages or facial expressions through the Internet.
Furthermore
, when we become over-reliant on this technology, we
gradually
no longer communicate
directly
with others, which may lead to an emotionless attitude in society.
For example
, when entering a milk tea shop, it is easy to encounter groups of young
people
just
staring at the smartphone screens without interacting with each other.

In conclusion
, I argue that depending on the Internet for daily purposes such as shopping, work and
communication
has both beneficial and detrimental effects.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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