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Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 3
TECHNOLOGY ADVANCEMENT HAS MADE EASY TOUR FACILITIES IN THE MEANS OF PLANE, TRAIN AND BUS. AND, THUS, GLOBAL WARMING EFFECT HAS BEEN INCREASING WITH INCREASED NUMBER OF VEHICLES. CERTAIN PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT AIR-COMMUTATION SHOULD HAVE SOME LIMITATIONS UPON TRAVELING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER. THIS ESSAY WILL PARTIALLY CONCUR WITH THE ABOVE NOTION AND DISCUSS ABOUT WHY IT SHOULD HAVE CERTAIN RESTICTIONS AND WHAT WOULD BE THE IMPACT OF RESTRICTION ON BUSINESSES DEVELOPING NATIONS. ON THE ONE HAND, AIR-COMMUTATION RESTRICTION S LOWERS THE AMOUNT OF HAZARDOUS GAES IN THE AIR THROUGH FLIGHTS. AS A RESULT, PEOPLE WOULD NOT HAVE MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS AS RESPIRATORY TRAC IS THE MAIN PART OF THE BODY TO INHALE THE OXYGEN WHICH IS ESSENTIAL FOR LIVING. AND, AT LAST, THIS REDUCTION IN DANGEROUS GASES CAUSE DECLINE IN THE GLOBAL WARMING EFFECT TO SOME EXTENT. FOR EXAMPLE, WEATHER DEPARTMENT OF THE UK REPORT REVEALED THAT 70% 0F AIR POLLUTION IS DUE TO THE RUNNING PLANES IN THE SKY. IF, LESS NUMBER OF FLIGHT RUNS, THERE WOULD BE DECREASED AMOUNT OF POLLUTION WHICH IS MAIN TRIGOR TO HAVE GLOBAL WARMING. HENCE, IT IS ADVANTAGEOUS TO CUT TH NUMBER OF FLIGHT RUNNING IN THE AIR. ON THE OTHER HAND, DEVELOPING COUNTRIES ECONOMY WILL BE IN EFFECT BECAUSE, MOST OF THE BUSINESSES RUN IN THE DEVELOPING NATIONS BASED ON EFFORTLESS AND SHORT DURATION OF AIR TRAVEL. IF THE PLANES ARE REFRAIN FROM DEPARTING FREQUENTLY, INTERNATIONAL BUSINESSES WOULD DROP DOWN SUDDENDLYTO MAJOR EXTENT AND THIS LEADS TO DECREAE IN THE HOME COUNTRY'S ECONOMY. FOR INSTANCE, INTERNATION ENTREPREUNERS SURVEY DEPICTED THAT, 80% OF THE BUSINESSES ARE SUCCESSFUL AND EARN HIGH PROFITS AND SUPPORT THE NATIONS TO IMPROVE THE ECONOMICAL STATUS OF THE NATION. IN CONCLUSION, AIR TRAVEL INDEED HELP PEOPLE TO GO TO ANOTHER PLACE BUT, ONE SHOULD NEVER NEGOTIATE THE CONSEQUENCES OF TRAVEL THROUGH FLIGHTS. HOWEVER, IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVES OF PLANES THEN, THE CONS OF THE AIR COMMUTATION CAN BE MINIMIZE.
TECHNOLOGY ADVANCEMENT HAS MADE EASY TOUR FACILITIES IN THE MEANS OF
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
PLANE
, TRAIN AND BUS. AND,
THUS
, GLOBAL WARMING EFFECT HAS BEEN INCREASING WITH INCREASED NUMBER OF VEHICLES. CERTAIN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
BELIEVE THAT AIR-COMMUTATION SHOULD HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
LIMITATIONS UPON TRAVELING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER. THIS ESSAY WILL
PARTIALLY
CONCUR WITH THE ABOVE NOTION AND
Did you mean simply "DISCUSS WHY"? You do not need the word "about" here.
DISCUSS ABOUT WHY
IT SHOULD HAVE CERTAIN
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESTICTIONS
AND WHAT WOULD BE THE IMPACT OF RESTRICTION ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
DEVELOPING NATIONS.

ON THE ONE HAND, AIR-COMMUTATION RESTRICTION S LOWERS THE AMOUNT OF HAZARDOUS
Possible spelling mistake found.
GAES
IN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIR
THROUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FLIGHTS
.
AS A RESULT
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
WOULD NOT HAVE MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS AS RESPIRATORY
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRAC
IS THE MAIN PART OF THE BODY TO INHALE THE OXYGEN WHICH IS ESSENTIAL FOR LIVING. AND, AT LAST, THIS REDUCTION IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DANGEROUS
GASES CAUSE DECLINE IN THE GLOBAL WARMING EFFECT TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXTENT.
FOR EXAMPLE
,

WEATHER DEPARTMENT OF THE UK REPORT REVEALED THAT 70% 0F
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIR
POLLUTION IS DUE TO THE RUNNING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
PLANES
IN THE SKY. IF, LESS NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FLIGHT
RUNS, THERE WOULD
BE DECREASED
AMOUNT OF POLLUTION WHICH IS MAIN
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRIGOR
TO HAVE GLOBAL WARMING.
HENCE
, IT IS ADVANTAGEOUS TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CUT
TH NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FLIGHT
RUNNING IN THE AIR.

ON THE OTHER HAND
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DEVELOPING COUNTRIES
ECONOMY WILL BE IN EFFECT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, MOST OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
RUN IN THE DEVELOPING NATIONS BASED ON EFFORTLESS AND SHORT DURATION OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIR
TRAVEL. IF THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
PLANES
ARE REFRAIN FROM DEPARTING
FREQUENTLY
, INTERNATIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
WOULD
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "DROP".
DROP DOWN
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUDDENDLYTO
MAJOR EXTENT AND THIS LEADS TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
DECREAE
IN THE HOME COUNTRY'S ECONOMY.
FOR INSTANCE
, INTERNATION
Possible spelling mistake found.
ENTREPREUNERS
SURVEY DEPICTED THAT, 80% OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BUSINESSES
ARE SUCCESSFUL AND EARN HIGH PROFITS AND SUPPORT THE NATIONS TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
THE
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
ECONOMICAL
STATUS OF THE NATION.

IN CONCLUSION
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIR
TRAVEL
INDEED
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
TO GO TO ANOTHER PLACE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, ONE SHOULD NEVER NEGOTIATE THE CONSEQUENCES OF TRAVEL THROUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FLIGHTS
.
HOWEVER
, IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVES OF
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
PLANES
THEN, THE CONS OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIR
COMMUTATION CAN BE
Consider using the past participle "minimized"?
MINIMIZE
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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