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In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and work. v.1

In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and work. v. 1
Presently we are living in the modern world where the domination of machines is notable to the extreme extent. A wide variety of machines is performing numerous tasks in a perfect manner and with the shortest possible time. The sole aim of the machines is to comfort us and in the future, we will have more leisure hours as machines will replace our tasks. Now, I will describe both the benefits and disadvantages of this dependency on machines. To begin with, machines are meant to ease human activities. Usually, machines are able to perform tasks flawlessly than humans and in the future, they will just do that. So, they will be considered to be the substitute for humans in many tasks which require ultimate excellence and physical challenges. At the same time, machines can perform several tasks together and save time - for instance, a computer can analyse a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why in the future, the machines will be used in the war, research, construction and human will have more leisure time due to that. On the contrary, there are some detrimental impacts of machines and this will be more severe in the future. Certainly, machines will relieve us from repetitive tasks, but they will create few complexities too. When people will leave manual works, the risks of health disorders will increase. They may get affected with several life-tolling diseases for their physical inactivity that they used to do before engaging machines for their comforts. Besides, I believe that machines will also create a mass unemployment. When machines will be used for large-scale production in factories, many human labours will be eliminated from those jobs. The dependency on machines would be extreme and due to this a single instance of failure or wrong instruction would bring catastrophic results. To wrap up the discussion, I think it is imperative to deploy machines in only some specific sectors which are beyond the reach of humans. Further, the increased leisure will make life boring for us, and so we should be engaged in the ordinary tasks to enjoy a happy and healthy life.
Presently
we are living in the modern world where the domination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is notable to the extreme extent. A wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is performing numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
Consider replacing "in a perfect manner" with the adverb for "perfect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a perfect manner
and with the shortest possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The sole aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is to comfort us and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, we will have more leisure hours as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will replace our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both the benefits and disadvantages of this dependency on machines.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are meant
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are able to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
Use "(flawlessly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
flawlessly
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they will
be considered
to be the substitute for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
which require ultimate excellence and physical challenges. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can perform several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
together and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
for instance
, a computer can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
a massive amount of data in a single second. This is why in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the war, research, construction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
will have more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to that.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and this will be more severe in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will relieve us from repetitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will create few complexities too. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
manual works, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of health disorders will increase. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with several life-tolling diseases for their physical inactivity that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
engaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for their comforts.
Besides
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will
also
create a mass unemployment. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for large-scale production in factories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
will
be eliminated
from those jobs. The dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
would be extreme and due to this a single instance of failure or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
instruction would bring catastrophic results.

To wrap up the discussion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is imperative to deploy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific sectors which are beyond the reach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Further
, the increased leisure will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life boring for us, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should
be engaged
in the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to enjoy a happy and healthy life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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