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In this age of automation, many people complain that humans are becoming subservient to machines. But, in fact, machines are continually improving our lives. What is your opinion? v.1

In this age of automation, many people complain that humans are becoming subservient to machines. But, in fact, machines are continually improving our lives. What is your opinion? v. 1
The issue of whether machines are advantages or disadvantages is a controversial one. On the one hand, humans are becoming more and more dependent on machines. On the other hand, machines are improving are lives exponentially. However, in the final analysis, I believe that the advantages of machines outweigh their disadvantages. One reason for my belief is that machines have made our lives much easier than before. For example, with the help of a computer, I can navigate on the Internet everyday, searching for the information I need, while my automatic washing machine is doing my laundry and my printer is writing out my thoughts just be me sending voice commands to the computer. My mobile phone enables me to connect with everyone and everybody that I want at the click of a button while at the same time keeping me updated with the latest news and happenings so that I can make decisions to utilize my money in the best possible way. Another reason for my belief is that machines can do many dangerous work which might be considered extremely risky for humans to do. For instance, a spaceship can take us to outer space where we might have never dared to do. Likewise. a submarine can bring us to the bottom of the ocean, which used to an unexplored area until the last century. In the future, I believe that machines will be able to carry out hazardous tasks as well. Perhaps the best reason for my belief is that machines have opened more and more possibilities for humans. For instance, a spaceship can take us to outer space where we had never dared to go. Likewise, a submarine can bring us to the bottom of the ocean, which used to be forbidden area to humans. I believe that there will be more machines doing hazardous jobs. For all these reasons, I therefore believe that machines are so important to humans that we cannot do without them. Of course, machines have also brought with it many disadvantages. Such machines as calculators, cars, typewriters have made some people lazy, stupid, weak, and clumsy. However, whether machines are beneficial to humans depends on how you use them. We can use machines to save us time and then use the time to do more creative work or to enjoy life. Anyway, there are still more advantages than disadvantages.
The issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are advantages or disadvantages is a controversial one. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are becoming more and more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are improving are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
exponentially
.
However
, in the final analysis, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
outweigh their disadvantages.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a computer, I can navigate on the Internet
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, searching for the information I need, while my automatic washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is doing my laundry and my printer is writing out my thoughts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be me sending voice commands to the computer. My mobile phone enables me to connect with everyone and everybody that I want at the click of a button while at the same time keeping me updated with the latest news and happenings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions to utilize my money in the best possible way.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
work which might
be considered
extremely
risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to do.
For instance
, a spaceship can take us to outer space where we might have never dared to do.
Likewise
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
submarine can bring us to the bottom of the ocean, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to an unexplored area until the last century. In the future, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will be able to carry out hazardous tasks
as well
.

Perhaps the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have opened more and more possibilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
, a spaceship can take us to outer space where we had never dared to go.
Likewise
, a submarine can bring us to the bottom of the ocean, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be forbidden
area to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
doing hazardous jobs.

For all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
that we cannot do without them.
Of course
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
also
brought with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
as calculators, cars, typewriters have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lazy, stupid, weak, and clumsy.
However
, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
depends on how you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to save us time and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the time to do more creative work or to enjoy life. Anyway, there are
still
more advantages than

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disadvantages
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In this age of automation, many people complain that humans are becoming subservient to machines. But, in fact, machines are continually improving our lives. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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