Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop DO you agree or disagree v.2

in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop v. 2
It is true that for some people, spending time in a shopping mall is not only for shopping but also for relaxation. While agreeing that this trend is gaining more and more popularity, I believe that entertainment is not the primary reason for going to the mall. It cannot be denied that shopping malls which offer people a variety of services can attract more customers to come because shopping has become a kind of pleasure; it is no longer a household task as before. People today are not likely to shop alone. Instead, they do shopping with their family or friends, usually on weekends. This is also a chance for them to be together in a restaurant or in a cinema after buying something for a whole week. This is the reason why we usually see more people in entertainment and restaurant areas than in shopping sections. However, I argue against the idea that people will choose shopping malls for entertainment instead of for shopping. In fact, there are many amazing amusement parks which offer them a much more variety of entertainment forms. Therefore, if someone’s need is to seek something to entertain them, they simply choose an entertainment center. It is just like the case that if I want to learn French and English, to save time for traveling, I will choose a school which can offer me both courses but if I just want to learn English, then I will choose a school which specializes in English teaching. All forms of entertainment in a shopping mall can only be used as a supplementary to the main service of a shopping mall to bring more convenience to its customers. Entertainment can never replace the main function of a shopping mall, a place for people to shop. In sum, shopping malls will continue to expand their areas for entertainment activities to draw more customers, but customers will never go to a shopping mall just for entertainment.
It is true that for
some
people
, spending time in a
shopping
mall
is not
only
for
shopping
but
also
for relaxation. While agreeing that this trend is gaining more and more popularity, I believe that entertainment is not the primary reason for going to the mall.

It cannot
be denied
that
shopping
malls
which offer
people
a variety of services can attract more
customers
to
come
because
shopping
has become a kind of pleasure; it is no longer a household task as
before
.
People
today
are not likely to shop alone.
Instead
, they do
shopping
with their family or friends,
usually
on weekends. This is
also
a chance for them to be together in a restaurant or in a cinema after buying something for a whole week. This is the reason why we
usually
see
more
people
in entertainment and restaurant areas than in
shopping
sections.

However
, I argue against the
idea
that
people
will
choose
shopping
malls
for entertainment
instead
of for
shopping
. In fact, there are
many
amazing amusement parks which offer them a much more variety of entertainment forms.
Therefore
, if someone’s need is to seek something to entertain them, they
simply
choose
an entertainment center. It is
just
like the case that if I want to learn French and English, to save time for traveling, I will
choose
a school which can offer me both courses
but
if I
just
want to learn English, then I will
choose
a school which specializes in English teaching. All forms of entertainment in a
shopping
mall
can
only
be
used
as a supplementary to the main service of a
shopping
mall
to bring more convenience to its
customers
. Entertainment can never replace the main function of a
shopping
mall
, a place for
people
to shop.

In sum,
shopping
malls
will continue to expand their areas for entertainment activities to draw more
customers
,
but
customers
will never go to a
shopping
mall
just
for entertainment.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay in the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts