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In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our world as a whole. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150? v.2

In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our world as a whole. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150? v. 2
To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for one hundred and fifty years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. Undoubtedly, there are some major advantages for living a longer life. Firstly, people could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. In addition, people could contribute more if they lived longer lives, especially scientists and other valuable members of society. For example, if Edison had lived longer, he might have invented more things for us or Mozart might have produced more wonderful music. Nevertheless, there could be many disadvantages if people lived for one hundred and fifty years. Firstly, people might be unhealthy in their later years because their body organs are unable to deal with extreme age. Additionally, more people may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. Another factor is that an increasing older population would cause many problems for society. For example, it would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system, a situation already developing in countries. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development would be a largely negative one for our society.
To
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live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for one hundred and fifty years in the near future.
However
, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for
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people
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Undoubtedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major advantages for living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
life.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and do more of the things they want, such as trying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their children grow to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
In addition
,
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people
could contribute more if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
especially
scientists and other valuable members of society.
For example
, if Edison had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have invented more things for us or Mozart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have produced more wonderful music.

Nevertheless
, there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for one hundred and fifty years.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be unhealthy in their later years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their body organs are unable to deal with extreme age.
Additionally
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. Another factor is that an increasing older population would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for society.
For example
, it would place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on the social welfare system, a situation already developing in countries.

In conclusion
, I believe that the disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages.
Therefore
, this development would be a
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one for our society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our world as a whole. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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