Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In the circumstances of the present-day world, children should be given every encouragement to regard the learning of several languages as normal; to suggest the contrary seems both prejudiced and harmful v.1

In the circumstances of the present-day world, children should be given every encouragement to regard the learning of several languages as normal; to suggest the contrary seems both prejudiced and harmful v. 1
In the modern-day world, multilingualism can not only enrich our knowledge in loads of fields such as politics, cultures, history, etc. , but also help people to get access to the civilization of mankind. Thus, some people hold the view that children should be emboldened that learning several languages is an ordinary thing to do while others disagree, saying that this may cause harm to them. This essay will weigh up both sides of the argument and give justifications why I advocate the former view. On the one hand, being able to speak different languages will help the children become more confident as they have a chance to approach to numerous practical information. That means it will give the speakers, a significant advantage over others in the global job market. Ever since America and Britain became one of the greatest nations, English is as well regarded as a worldwide language. While in the past, parents would let their children go to several English classes with a view to mastering their children’s English level, in these days, just becoming skilled at two languages is barely adequate. Therefore, children are obligated to learn a third or fourth one in order to develop their potential as much as possible. On the other hand, the multilingual curriculum can be a double-edged sword. Without proper methods, schools will accidentally put pressure on their students. The key to success depends on quality, not quantity. Learning different languages in a short time might be over with some of them. Children who are suffering from stress will not be able to focus on any specific language. This will have a negative impact on both their study results and mental health. Last but not least, although studying many languages is encouraged by government and many other people, parents should not consider this to be normal. They are inadvertently supporting the false belief that an inability to do such is abnormal and by chance widening the gap between the wealthy and the poor. In conclusion, although some people may argue that multilingual learning do harm to children, I am strongly convinced that stimulating children to discover other languages advance them in many ways. Hopefully, the educational system can be soon completed so that children will no longer endure with tension.
In the modern-day world, multilingualism can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enrich our knowledge in loads of fields such as politics, cultures, history, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the civilization of mankind.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be emboldened
that learning several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is an ordinary thing to do while others disagree, saying that this may cause harm to them. This essay will weigh up both sides of the argument and give justifications why I advocate the former view.

On the one hand, being able to speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more confident as they have a chance to approach to numerous practical information. That means it will give the speakers, a significant advantage over others in the global job market. Ever since America and Britain became one of the greatest nations, English is
as well
regarded as a worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. While in the past, parents would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to several English classes with a view to mastering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
English level, in these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
becoming skilled at two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is
barely
adequate.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obligated
to learn a third or fourth one in order to develop their potential as much as possible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the multilingual curriculum can be a double-edged sword. Without proper methods, schools will
accidentally
put pressure on their students. The key to success depends on quality, not quantity. Learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in a short time might be over with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who are suffering from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
will not be able to focus on any specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. This will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on both their study results and mental health. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, although studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is encouraged
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, parents should not consider this to be normal. They are
inadvertently
supporting the false belief that an inability to do such is abnormal and by chance widening the gap between the wealthy and the poor.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that multilingual learning do harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I am
strongly
convinced that stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
advance them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Hopefully
, the educational system can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
completed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will no longer endure with tension.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In the circumstances of the present-day world, children should be given every encouragement to regard the learning of several languages as normal; to suggest the contrary seems both prejudiced and harmful v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts