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In the bygone days, many had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this is happening? How far is this situation true in your country? v.2

In the bygone days, many had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this is happening? How far is this situation true in your country? v. 2
Many years ago people used to make everything themselves and from scratch. Everyone's main duties included building a home, working in the field, cooking and making clothes. Most of the jobs we know today did not exist. There were no lawyers, bankers, journalists and many more. Nowadays, however, it's different. With the introduction of technology in our daily lives and in the production of many goods, the world has changed. People no longer learn how to make their own clothes or repair their houses. In modern days you either hire someone to do the job for you or use technology. As for clothes and food, you can just pop to the nearest shopping centre and find everything you need. In my country, things are more or less the same. It's not common for people, especially younger ones to have skills like these. Some years ago kids were taught how to sew and use machinery at school but this does not happen anymore. Of course, there are people who still know how to make things by themselves but they are usually doing it because they have no other choice - they either live in the countryside or are not particularly wealthy. In general, I believe that less and fewer people rely on themselves to do such work. It is a good thing that nowadays everything is so easy to get and technology is so advanced but thinks about it - if all of our machines broke, who would know how to do their job?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
years ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everything themselves and from scratch. Everyone's main duties included building a home, working in the field, cooking and making clothes. Most of the jobs we know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
did not exist. There were no lawyers, bankers, journalists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Nowadays,
however
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

With the introduction of technology in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and in the production of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
no longer learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothes or repair their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. In modern days you either hire someone to do the job for you or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology. As for clothes and food, you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pop to the nearest shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and find everything you need.

In my country, things are more or less the same. It's not common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
younger ones to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like these.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
years ago kids
were taught
how to sew and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
machinery at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this does not happen anymore.
Of course
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
usually
doing it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no other choice
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
they either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside or are not
particularly
wealthy.

In general
, I believe that less and fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on themselves to do such work. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing that nowadays everything is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
and technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about it
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
if all of our machines broke, who would know how to do their job?
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay In the bygone days, many had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this is happening? How far is this situation true in your country? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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