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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

essay2 Part QuestionsGender RolesFamily Dynamics
Writing Structure
Nowadays it is becoming tremendously popular among families, that males are the parent who stays at home taking care of the children while women provide financial support to the entire family. This essay will discuss the possible reasons of this phenomenon and its impacts by giving examples from the UK government, the UK Psychology institution, and the UNESCO to support and demonstrate arguments. It is well known that the role of women in society has changed throughout the years, as a result of the so-called feminism, which has given females more opportunities to play major roles in society and be equally treated to men. An example of this new trend can be seen in recent statistics released by the UK government that showed a sharp increase in the number of women with university degrees over the last decade. This increment took over the number of their counterparts by 30%. It could be one of the reasons that explains why most women acquire well paid jobs and higher levels positions in the workforce than men. Additionally, according to the UK psychology institution, the chromosome XX gender possess an exceptional skill called multitasking, which provides an advantage over men that could lead to the ability to have a nine-to-five job and return home to continue with the care of their children and house chores. Therefore, it is clear the possible reasons behind this new era where men are stay-at-home fathers while their significant one go to work. Some believe this new role of females being the head of the household is a positive advancement, personally I strongly disagree with this statement. It is undoubtful that the connection between mothers and their children is essential to develop the basic mental and emotional skills to be a what is considered, a healthy adult, especially at the early ages of life. A good example of this is the result of the recent study conducted by the UNESCO that showed that 60% of the men with criminal background came from homes where their mothers were absent during their childhood. Moreover, men might have the perception to fail as protector or provider if they leave behind their professional and personal goals to become a full-time father. Therefore, I strongly believe that human beings should be treated equally and have the same opportunities regardless the gender. From the arguments and examples given, I am firmly convinced that fathers that stay at home while mothers go out to work has a negative impact on children as well as their parents because it can affect their mental and emotional health which can result on unhealthy future adults and frustrated parents.
Introduction
Background Information

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Supporting Sentence

Example Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Concluding Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons and impacts, but the arguments could be more developed and supported with clearer evidence.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition. The essay lacks a wider range of vocabulary and collocations.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas are not logically sequenced, and transitions between points could be improved for better flow.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder clarity.

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