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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v.24

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 24
In the recent era, there are many advancements made in the field of agriculture, but still there are a lot of people in our country, which are without food. In this essay, I will describe the reasons for the shortage of the food and the steps that needs to be taken to solve this problem. Firstly, one of the main reasons for the scarcity is due to the growing population of our country. Every year, the country's population is increasing, but on the other hand, agriculture produce is not the same to meet the demand of the increasing growth. Furthermore, many agricultural lands are converted into concrete structures which have a direct impact on the agricultural produce. Secondly, a lot of meals are wasted in marriages, birthday parties and other personal and public events leading to the scarcity. For example, in the recent survey conducted by the government, it is observed that around 10-20 % percent of the total food for a marriage is wasted, thus creating a shortage. There are many ways by which this problem can be addressed. Firstly, the government should control the increasing population by implementing strict laws. Secondly, the wastage of the food can be reduced by creating NGO's, which can take the remaining food after the marriage or other events from the venue and make sure that food reached to the needy. To conclude, increasing population and the less agricultural production are the main causes for the scarcity of the food and these causes can be addressed by forming policies for the population control, increasing production and control the wastage of the food.
In the recent era, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advancements made in the field of agriculture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our country, which are without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the reasons for the shortage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the steps that needs to
be taken
to solve this problem.

Firstly
, one of the main reasons for the scarcity is due to the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of our country.

Every year, the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, agriculture produce is not the same to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
growth.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
agricultural lands
are converted
into concrete structures which have a direct impact on the agricultural produce.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
meals
are wasted
in marriages, birthday parties and other personal and public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
leading to the scarcity.
For example
, in the recent survey conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it
is observed
that around 10-20 % percent of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for a marriage
is wasted
,
thus
creating a shortage.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways by which this problem can
be addressed
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
by implementing strict laws.
Secondly
, the wastage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by creating NGO's, which can take the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
after the marriage or other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from the venue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
reached to the needy.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and the less agricultural production are the main causes for the scarcity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and these causes can
be addressed
by forming policies for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
control,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
production and control the wastage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 24

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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