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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.17

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 17
The field of agriculture has witnessed several improvements, but quite a number of people in various countries of the world still experience hunger. This is majorly as a result of climate change, and lack of funds to procure resilient crop varieties, storage and transport facilities. Solutions exist for these problems that have been identified. Firstly, a major reason for hunger in some countries is the problem of climate change. With increasing release of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, and its attendant global warming, several regions are experiencing extremes of weather conditions such as floods, droughts, and storms. This results in a shift in the ecological system, increasing the occurrence of different diseases, and a s result, the growth and survival of different plants and animals species cannot be supported by these weather changes. Consequently, less food is available for residents in such regions. Furthermore, the lack of funds to procure high yield pest resistant seeds, storage and transport facilities contribute significantly to the famine experienced in some countries. In other words, the seeds available for cultivation are easily destroyed by pests. While some of these seeds can be salvaged through storing, inadequate storage facilities will result in spoilage. Also, lack of transport facilities from farms to consumers, including good roads, rails, and/or vehicles also increases the risks of hunger. However, there are several measures that can be taken to tackle these issues. To begin with, the government should invest in improved farming methods that bypass the effects of climate change. For instance, this can be in the form of using greenhouses for planting. Additionally, funds should be budgeted for purchasing high quality seeds, storage equipment, and on improved transport system. In conclusion, although hunger is a menace in some nations of the world, the government's provision of funds and investment in advanced farming methods will help combat this issue.
The field of agriculture has witnessed several improvements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
quite a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in various countries of the world
still
experience hunger. This is
majorly
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, and lack of funds to procure resilient crop varieties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
facilities. Solutions exist for these problems that have
been identified
.

Firstly
, a major reason for hunger in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries is the problem of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. With increasing release of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, and its attendant global warming, several regions are experiencing extremes of weather conditions such as floods, droughts, and storms. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in a shift in the ecological system, increasing the occurrence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases, and
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, the growth and survival of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
plants and animals species cannot
be supported
by these weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
Consequently
, less food is available for residents in such regions.
Furthermore
, the lack of funds to procure high yield pest resistant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seeds
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
facilities contribute
significantly
to the famine experienced in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seeds
available for cultivation are
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by pests. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seeds
can
be salvaged
through storing, inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
facilities will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in spoilage.
Also
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
facilities from farms to consumers, including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roads, rails, and/or vehicles
also
increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of hunger.

However
, there are several measures that can
be taken
to tackle these issues. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
farming methods that bypass the effects of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
For instance
, this can be in the form of using greenhouses for planting.
Additionally
, funds should
be budgeted
for purchasing high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seeds
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
equipment, and on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system.

In conclusion
, although hunger is a menace in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations of the world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's provision of funds and investment in advanced farming methods will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
combat this issue.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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