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In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.2

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 2
There are many issues in this world and hunger is one of the major issues we are facing now a days. Needless to say, technology made a contribution to make significant progress in agriculture, but humans around the world are still hungry. This essay will first discuss, this is happening because of population growth and then give explain what can be done to solve this problem. To start with, Firstly, Agriculture made a significant progress, thanks to the technology. But we also need to look at population chart and the way the world's population is increasing, there will be a time when agriculture field does not have many options to grow due to limited resources we have in the world. For example, according to a research paper in The Kurukshetra university, a child is born in every 3 seconds within India only, so we can imagine how the world population is growing. Needless to say, the population growing much faster as compare to advances made in agriculture. To solve this problem, we need to control the birth rate. There are many ways to do it. To begin with, The government can start awareness campaigns. People need to think about population bomb. For example, Indian government started an awareness campaign last year name as "one family, one child" and try to make people understand the benefits of small family. There will be less people to feed incase people are less and needless to say, the chances of hungry people around the world would be lesser. To conclude, Hunger is one of the biggest problem world is facing currently. The growth of population is much higher as compared to the agriculture growth is the main reason for this and we can resolve this issue via population control as there will be limited chances of growth in agriculture after a certain period of time.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and hunger is one of the major issues we are facing
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
. Needless to say, technology made a contribution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
humans around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
still
hungry. This essay will
first
discuss, this is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and then give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what can
be done
to solve this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Agriculture
made a significant progress, thanks to the technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
also
need to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
chart and the way the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing, there will be a time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
field does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to grow due to limited resources we have in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, according to a research paper in The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kurukshetra
university, a child
is born
in every 3 seconds within India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can imagine how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is growing. Needless to say, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growing much faster as compare to advances made in agriculture.

To solve this problem, we need to control the birth rate. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to do it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
awareness campaigns.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
bomb.
For example
, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
an awareness campaign last year name as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
one family, one child
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the benefits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family. There will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feed
Possible spelling mistake found.
incase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less and needless to say, the chances of hungry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
would be lesser.

To conclude
, Hunger is one of the biggest problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing
currently
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is much higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is the main reason for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
this and
we can resolve this issue via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
control as there will
be limited
chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
after a certain period of time.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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