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In spire of tje advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v.1

In spire of tje advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v. 1
Travelling in space has become feasible for a while now and there is a growing speculation that space tourism will be more popular in the future. In my opinion, this development will have positive impacts on our lives. Firstly, the standard of living will be improved as a result of space travelling. It is widely accepted that travelling is a form of education. When more people have the opportunity to travel in space, more people are exposed to the life outside earth, and consequently they will be more aware of the worlds out there. When people grow more interested in space and the universe, more investment would then be directed to this field, hence an improvement in science and research, which could further improve the quality of life on earth. Secondly, it is financially sensible to promote travelling in space. It is widely known that spaceships and rockets consume a great deal of money to operate and maintenance. If this costly equipment were not put into effective uses, it would be a waste of our precious financial resources. With space travelling, scientific organizations and space programs might be able to raise enough revenue to maintain their facilities and equipment, as well as further invest in space programs that could bring even more breakthroughs in this field. These inventions will allow humans to explore the universe in a further and deeper manner. In conclusion, space tourism would be improved in future, and I believe this will bring positive outcomes in both our daily lives and sciences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
has become feasible for a while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and there is a growing speculation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
tourism will be more popular in the future. In my opinion, this development will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, the standard of living will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a form of education. When more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the opportunity to travel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are exposed
to the life outside earth, and
consequently
they will be more aware of the worlds out there. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and the universe, more investment would then
be directed
to this field,
hence
an improvement in science and research, which could
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life on earth.

Secondly
, it is
financially
sensible to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. It is
widely
known that spaceships and rockets consume a great deal of money to operate and maintenance. If this costly equipment were not put into effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, it would be a waste of our precious financial resources. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, scientific organizations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs might be able to raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
revenue to maintain their facilities and equipment,
as well
as
further
invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs that could bring even more breakthroughs in this field. These inventions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
humans to explore the universe in a
further
and deeper manner.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
tourism would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, and I believe this will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes in both our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and sciences.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay In spire of tje advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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