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In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development? v.2

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2
In certain areas of the world, it becomes a trend to have a pedigree analysis of one’s own family. It is because people want to be aware of their medical history due to growing disease rate nowadays. In my opinion, it is a positive development as it would help them to identify suspected inherited syndromes. Firstly, in recent years, a number of people prefer pedigree analysis of their families because they want to know their medical history as the disease rate in the increasingly prevalent around the globe. Moreover, it would help them to identify genetic ailments which run in the families and would eventually express in future generations, so family tree would help people to pre-diagnose inherited diseases. For instance, hearing loss is a genetic disorder which runs in the families of various areas of Pakistan. Secondly, I believe, diagnosing suspected congenital syndromes using family history would help people to get early counselling about particular syndromes as it would help them to take early precautions and have a proper medical checkup on time. Furthermore, it would also help people to know more about their family customs, values and even intelligence. For instance, in our country cousin marriages in one of the leading causes of hearing loss in families so by having family background information people can stop consanguineous marriages. To conclude, in particular regions of the world, people prefer to have a family history past because it would help them to identify various suspected diseases which run in their families and ultimately affect next generations. I believe it is a positive development as it will help them to take precautionary measures to control such ailments and also it will be beneficial in a long run for people to know about their family roots.
In certain areas of the world, it becomes a trend to have a pedigree analysis of one’s
own
family
. It is
because
people
want to be aware of their medical
history
due to growing
disease
rate nowadays. In my opinion, it is a
positive
development as it would
help
them to identify suspected inherited syndromes.

Firstly
, in recent years, a number of
people
prefer pedigree analysis of their
families
because
they want to know their medical
history
as the
disease
rate in the
increasingly
prevalent around the globe.
Moreover
, it would
help
them to identify genetic ailments which
run
in the
families
and would
eventually
express in future generations,
so
family
tree would
help
people
to
pre-diagnose
inherited
diseases
.
For instance
, hearing loss is a genetic disorder which
runs
in the
families
of various areas of Pakistan.

Secondly
, I believe, diagnosing suspected congenital syndromes using
family
history
would
help
people
to
get
early counselling about particular syndromes as it would
help
them to take early precautions and have a proper medical checkup on time.
Furthermore
, it would
also
help
people
to know more about their
family
customs, values and even intelligence.
For instance
, in our country cousin marriages in one of the leading causes of hearing loss in
families
so
by having
family
background information
people
can
stop
consanguineous marriages.

To conclude
,
in particular
regions of the world,
people
prefer to have a
family
history
past
because
it would
help
them to identify various suspected
diseases
which
run
in their
families
and
ultimately
affect
next
generations. I believe it is a
positive
development as it will
help
them to take precautionary measures to control such ailments and
also
it will be beneficial in a long
run
for
people
to know about their
family
roots.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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