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In some countries, young people are less polite and respectful to the old. What are the causes? What can be done to solve this? v.1

In some countries, young people are less polite and respectful to the old. What are the causes? What can be done to solve this? v. 1
It is true that young adults have a tendency to show less politeness and respect for their elders. Although there are undoubtedly causes of this issue, both families and societies can take steps to mitigate this negative trend. As people’s lives have been better improved, and societies have increasingly developed, youngsters’ morality is more seriously concerned. First of all, due to the lack of closeness in families, children are usually not taught about respectfulness and politeness by their parents, who are always busy with jobs. As a result, these children cannot be aware of how to behave appropriately to those who are older. The parents in a family even sometimes show disrespectfulness or disobedience for their elderly relatives, grandparents in particular, and the juveniles will be more likely to be shaped into discourtesy in relation to this kind of ill-mannered pattern. Further causes will include negative influences of friends, television and the Internet on teenagers’ consciousness, and they will tend to learn behaviours of impoliteness, which they might have towards other people, especially the seniors. There are several actions that each family together with the community could take to solve the problems described above. The first important solution is for those responsible for parenthood to self-improve behaviours and attitudes towards the elderly. In this way, their children will be more likely to be associated with good behavioural formation from a very young age. It is also vital to encourage parental connectedness in order for the parents to have reasonable time with their offspring for humanistic education, and being respectful and polite for the grandparents is the most basic step. A second measure would be that civic education should be considered as a major subject in schools in an effort to raise young students’ perception of morality. Finally, governments have responsibility to control social networks and televised contents on channels in an attempt to prevent negative trends impacting the young generation. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as young adolescents’ ethics is declining.
It is true that
young
adults have a tendency to
show
less politeness and respect for their elders. Although there are
undoubtedly
causes of this issue, both
families
and societies can take steps to mitigate this
negative
trend.

As
people
’s
lives
have been better
improved
, and societies have
increasingly
developed, youngsters’ morality is more
seriously
concerned.
First of all
, due to the lack of closeness in
families
, children are
usually
not taught about respectfulness and politeness by their parents, who are always busy with jobs.
As a result
, these children cannot be aware of how to behave
appropriately
to those who are older. The parents in a
family
even
sometimes
show
disrespectfulness
or disobedience for their elderly relatives, grandparents
in particular
, and the juveniles will be more likely to
be shaped
into discourtesy in relation to this kind of ill-mannered pattern.
Further
causes will include
negative
influences of friends, television and the Internet on
teenagers
’ consciousness, and they will tend to learn
behaviours
of impoliteness, which they might have towards other
people
,
especially
the seniors.

There are several actions that each
family
together with the community could take to solve the problems
described
above. The
first
important
solution is for those responsible for parenthood to self-
improve
behaviours
and attitudes towards the elderly. In this way, their children will be more likely to
be associated
with
good
behavioural
formation from a
very
young
age. It is
also
vital to encourage parental connectedness in order for the parents to have reasonable time with their offspring for humanistic education, and being respectful and polite for the grandparents is the most basic step. A second measure would be that civic education should
be considered
as a major subject in schools in an effort to raise
young
students’ perception of morality.
Finally
,
governments
have responsibility to control social networks and televised contents on channels in an attempt to
prevent
negative
trends impacting the
young
generation.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as
young
adolescents’ ethics is declining.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are less polite and respectful to the old. What are the causes? What can be done to solve this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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