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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 103 v.44

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 103 v. 44
In many countries, some students take a year off after finishing their high school studies for travelling or working before they enrol in a university. This essay will highlight both pros and cons and express an opinion in the end. On the one hand, there are a plenty of benefits for youngsters who takes a break period after finishing the academy. Firstly, the scholars who travel away from home environment would probably develop independence and self-confidence on a personal level. Secondly, visiting in a foreign land enables pupils to explore the diverse culture, traditions and a wide variety of the people. In this way, it would make their mind broader in the future as well as it assists to attain social knowledge. In addition, it supports the learner studies. For instance, in conducting thesis related to the community. Thirdly, when students work prior to enrol the university, they will obtain practical and professional working experiences. Similarly, they would save some money to manage their tuition fees and living expenses by themselves. Despites the advantages, there are a few drawbacks for children's to go to tour or workplace. Initially, the youth's education process will be disrupted due to long term gap in the study. As a result, it could discourage former school child to restart learning that would decline, the number of scholars going to the learning institutions. Furthermore, youngsters who start earning at a very early age might insist them to follow awful habits such as smoking, drinking alcohol due to involve in bad company. Likewise, travelling for a long period may affect the commuters financial status. To conclude this, although there are numerous reasons in favour of encouraging young people to work or travel for a year after completing the high school, there are some shortcomings that affect the students study, health and economic conditions.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students take a year off after finishing their high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
for travelling or working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they enrol in a university. This essay will highlight both pros and cons and express an opinion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits for youngsters who takes a break period after finishing the academy.
Firstly
, the scholars who travel away from home environment would
probably
develop independence and self-confidence on a personal level.
Secondly
, visiting in a foreign land enables pupils to explore the diverse culture, traditions and a wide variety of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In this way, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their mind broader in the future
as well
as it assists to attain social knowledge.
In addition
, it supports the learner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
For instance
, in conducting thesis related to the community.
Thirdly
, when students work prior to enrol the university, they will obtain practical and professional working experiences.
Similarly
, they would save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to manage their tuition fees and living expenses by themselves.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Despites
the advantages, there are a few drawbacks for children's to go to tour or workplace.
Initially
, the youth's education process will
be disrupted
due to long term gap in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
As a result
, it could discourage former school child to restart learning that would decline, the number of scholars going to the learning institutions.
Furthermore
, youngsters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age might insist them to follow awful habits such as smoking, drinking alcohol due to involve in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Likewise
, travelling for a long period may affect the commuters financial status.

To conclude
this, although there are numerous reasons in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of encouraging young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work or travel for a year after completing the high school, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortcomings that affect the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, health and economic conditions.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 103 v. 44

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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