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In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v.6

In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v. 6
In the previous period, teenagers were instructed regarding the method of money saving. However, these days, they are solely taught for the expenditure. I agree with the given statement. On the one hand, people can know how to save the income previously. At this time, children can get a lot of things by the little amount which could help them to save extra revenue. For instance, when they went to the markets to buy a necessary product, they could able to save some fund after purchasing all the items due to the inexpensive. In addition, they used a small box for keeping cash and broke down these boxes after a year only on the special occasions to fulfil their basic necessities. Apart from this, kids were preferred home-made food rather than fast food which could increase the saving and those who got cash as a pocket money also tried to conserve it. However, at present, the situation is just opposite to the past. All products are too expensive. When a person visits the stores by taking thousands of cash, then, they are able to buy only 1-2 items. In addition, nowadays, social media like Facebook, Instragram plays a vital role because people want to do show up their styles, dresses, food what they eat towards males and females through the internet. As a result, such activities encourage them to spend more and more salary on it rather that keeping it. To conclude this, youngsters can keep saving money in the past, whereas with the rapid development of the technologies, expenditure is increasing from sunshine to sunset.
In the previous period,
teenagers
were instructed
regarding the method of money saving.
However
, these days, they are
solely
taught for the expenditure. I
agree
with the
given
statement.

On the one hand,
people
can know how to save the income previously. At this time, children can
get
a lot of
things by the
little
amount which could
help
them to save extra revenue.
For instance
, when they went to the markets to
buy
a necessary product, they
could able
to save
some
fund after purchasing all the items due to the inexpensive.
In addition
, they
used
a
small
box for keeping cash and broke down these boxes after a year
only
on the special occasions to fulfil their
basic necessities
. Apart from this, kids
were preferred
home-made food
rather
than
fast
food which could increase the saving and those who
got
cash as a pocket money
also
tried to conserve it.

However
, at present, the situation is
just
opposite to the past. All products are too expensive. When a person visits the stores by taking thousands of cash, then, they are able to
buy
only
1-2 items.
In addition
, nowadays, social media like Facebook,
Instragram
plays a vital role
because
people
want to do
show
up their styles, dresses, food what they eat towards males and females through the internet.
As a result
, such activities encourage them to spend more and more salary on it
rather
that keeping it.

To conclude
this, youngsters can
keep
saving money in the past, whereas with the rapid development of the technologies, expenditure is increasing from sunshine to sunset.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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