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In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v.4

In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v. 4
At recent years, there is an ongoing debate whether all of the people are equal to be artists or it is supposed to be the talented ones who are worth to do arts. I believe that talented people should be appreciated for their masterpiece, and throughout this essay, I will give several considerations relating to my notion. Each people has their own capabilities, interests, and talents. It is a fact that drummers master the drum music field such as the equipment, sophisticated techniques, etc. by autodidact or train themselves in certain courses to gain maximum skills and to be hired by a famous band. However, drummers may not have quite interests in acting or painting. As a consequence, the term 'anyone can do it' may be possible but the product of arts will not be a masterpiece. It is inevitable that the equal rights to do everything including to choose the profession as an artist is undeniable. As a consequence, every people wants to be a famous artist because of the popularity and the huge salary. This leads to a complicated problem for finding the true talents in doing the performance. To overcome this, managers, agents, and talents searching events are the bucket of solutions to look for the real talents needed by the arts industries. To sum up, 'anyone can do it' is a term caused by equal human rights among the people but people with original talents and interests accompanied by maximum development efforts are worthier to be appreciated as an art which they produced is overwhelming.
At recent years, there is an ongoing debate whether
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are equal to be artists or it
is supposed
to be the talented ones who are worth to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. I believe that talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be appreciated
for their masterpiece, and throughout this essay, I will give several considerations relating to my notion.

'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capabilities, interests, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. It is a fact that drummers master the drum music field such as the equipment, sophisticated techniques, etc. by autodidact or train themselves in certain courses to gain maximum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to
be hired
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
band.
However
, drummers may not have quite interests in acting or painting. As a consequence, the term 'anyone can do it' may be possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the product of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
will not be a masterpiece.

It is inevitable that the equal rights to do everything including to choose the profession as an artist is undeniable. As a consequence, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
artist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the popularity and the huge salary. This leads to a complicated problem for finding the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
in doing the performance. To overcome this, managers, agents, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
searching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are the bucket of solutions to look for the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
needed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
industries.

To sum up, 'anyone can do it' is a term caused by equal human rights among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and interests accompanied by maximum development efforts are worthier to
be appreciated
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which they produced is overwhelming.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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