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In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v.3

In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v. 3
There has been a fashionable trend nowadays to express individuals' talents for the sake of popularity and wealth. Also, there has been a developed attitude states" anyone can do it" in various types of talent. It then led to a result shows that people with no talents become rich and famous while those who were born with genuine talents are not valued or appreciated. This essay will present some arguments against this view. Everyone is considered talented, whether is talented-born or talented-trained. There are many types of talent in some areas such as music, literature, sports, painting, acting. etc. The view that non-talented people become famous and rich mostly based on several facts occur in a country. Take Indonesia as an example, the actress and actors are famous because of movies they performed. The fact that the casting requires physical attraction more than talents is no longer a secret. Since it is undeniable that good looking actress and actors attract viewers easily. But, at the same time, these performers are demanded to perform maximum to increase the quality of a movie. In another word, they are trained to be talented in the area of acting as it is believed that practice makes perfect. The popularity and wealth then come after practical opportunities, as better they act, the more they are paid and more famous they become. Moreover, it seems to be cruel to justify the genuine talents are not appreciated and valued considering the facts that sports athletes and singers are well known for their popularity and wealth. Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Dianna Ross, Rod Stewart and so on are the real examples how genuine talents are praised. After all. To explore and provide more opportunities to those who are born talented, several events such as X-factor and Indonesian Idol are held to enhance them in introducing their genuine talents. These are held to provide more access to those who are considered less accessible regardless their physical attractions. To conclude, I believe that all talents, whether it is genuine or product of habitual practices are well appreciated not only by popularity and wealth but also by-products they produce from various types of talents.
There has been a fashionable trend nowadays to express individuals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
.
Also
, there has been a developed attitude states
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
anyone can do it
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. It then led to a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
become rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
while those who
were born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are not valued or appreciated. This essay will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments against this view.

Everyone
is considered
talented, whether
is talented
-born or talented-trained. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas such as music, literature, sports, painting, acting.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
. The view that non-talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and rich
mostly
based on several facts occur in a country. Take Indonesia as an example, the actress and actors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of movies they performed. The fact that the casting requires physical attraction more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
is no longer a secret. Since it is undeniable that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
actress and actors attract viewers
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at the same time, these performers
are demanded
to perform maximum to increase the quality of a movie. In another word, they
are trained
to
be talented
in the area of acting as it
is believed
that practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
perfect. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after practical opportunities, as better they act, the more they
are paid
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
they become.

Moreover
, it seems to be cruel to justify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are not appreciated and valued considering the facts that sports athletes and singers are well known for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Dianna Ross, Rod Stewart and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are the real examples how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are praised
.
After all
. To explore and provide more opportunities to those who
are born
talented, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as X-factor and Indonesian Idol
are held
to enhance them in introducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
. These
are held
to provide more access to those who
are considered
less accessible regardless their physical attractions.

To conclude
, I believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genuine
or product of habitual practices are well appreciated not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by-products they produce from various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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