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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures can be taken to solve them? v.21

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures can be taken to solve them? v. 21
It is true that the number of people in some countries is suffering from obesity and other health issues. This essay will evaluate the inactive lifestyles and incorrect food choices as the main causes of these problems and suggest viable solutions. The primary contributing factors for people being overweight is the sedentary lifestyle. The inactivity of a person can lead to less burning of fats in the body resulting in an accumulated weight. For instance, the University of New South Wales conducted a survey on student’s activities, and found out that 80% of the respondents who have less physical activities were above the average normal weight. Another factor that can influence this condition is the unhealthy eating habits of the population. The presence of fast foods is prevalent in every corner of the streets, making it the ultimate choice. The excess consumption of fats and sugar that cannot be burned to energy will be deposited in the body as unwanted fats. However, there are effective measures to address the problem. Firstly, the government can sponsor an awareness program that will raise awareness and warn the public of the potential health problems associated with obesity. This program, which includes promotion of community exercise, will help the people to create a healthy environment. Finally, individual initiative and self-determination to change their lifestyles and eating habits can result to an improved health. For example, the UK “Five Fruits Diet” implemented in some cities reduced the obesity level by 20%. This is an indication of how effective a government program can be. In conclusion, although there are causes of obesity such as lifestyle and poor eating habits, these problems are not considered insurmountable. The government can tackle the issue by an effective awareness campaign.
It is true that the number of
people
in
some
countries is suffering from obesity and other health issues. This essay will evaluate the inactive
lifestyles
and incorrect food choices as the main causes of these
problems
and suggest viable solutions.

The primary contributing factors for
people
being overweight is the sedentary
lifestyle
. The inactivity of a person can lead to less burning of fats in the body resulting in an accumulated weight.
For instance
, the University of New South Wales conducted a survey on student’s activities, and found out that 80% of the respondents who have less physical activities were above the average normal weight. Another factor that can influence this condition is the unhealthy eating habits of the population. The presence of
fast
foods is prevalent in every corner of the streets, making it the ultimate choice. The excess consumption of fats and sugar that cannot
be burned
to energy will
be deposited
in the body as unwanted fats.

However
, there are effective measures to address the
problem
.
Firstly
, the
government
can sponsor an awareness program that will raise awareness and warn the public of the potential health
problems
associated with obesity. This program, which includes promotion of community exercise, will
help
the
people
to create a healthy environment.
Finally
, individual initiative and self-determination to
change
their
lifestyles
and eating habits can result to an
improved
health.
For example
, the UK “Five Fruits Diet” implemented in
some
cities
reduced
the obesity level by 20%. This is an indication of how effective a
government
program can be.

In conclusion
, although there are causes of obesity such as
lifestyle
and poor eating habits, these
problems
are not considered insurmountable. The
government
can tackle the issue by an effective awareness campaign.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures can be taken to solve them? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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