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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. v.15

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. v. 15
Nowadays, in the world, there are many people who are suffering from obesity. For this reason, in some countries, the overall weight of the population is really high. Also, this situation is affecting to people’s well-being in a negative way. In this essay, I will try to cover why such a kind of problem is happening and also, some solutions will be given by me. Firstly, this problem is happening because of the laziness of people. They are not active during the day, so, they do not spend their calories. For example, humans use their smartphones to talk with their friends instead of doing face to face conversation. Additionally, these individuals do not do any kind of activity, like morning exercises or running. To solve the problem, individuals should make a daily schedule or should keep a diary about their own daily routine, however, in there doing sport, walking, running activities must be involved. After this, the requirement by them is doing activities at the same as they are written. Furthermore, the second reason is fast food. As everyone knows, fast food has many chemicals which can harm human’s health and fitness. For instance, person who at home, can order pizza or hamburgers, or whenever going to the university or work they can take by stores which can be found is the streets. So, wrong meal-eating is harmful. As a solution, I can suggest just keeping a diet. Eating vegetables or fruits is extremely important. In my opinion, being on a diet for about 2 months (for an average fat person) is enough. In conclusion, the causes of such kind of problems we are just ourselves. So, if everyone keeps these rules, they will not be fat and continue their happy life with no any health problems.
Nowadays, in the world, there are
many
people
who are suffering from obesity.
For this reason
, in
some
countries, the
overall
weight of the population is
really
high.
Also
, this situation is affecting to
people
’s well-being in a
negative
way. In this essay, I will try to cover why such a kind of
problem
is happening and
also
,
some
solutions will be
given
by me.

Firstly
, this
problem
is happening
because
of the laziness of
people
. They are not active during the day,
so
, they do not spend their calories.
For example
, humans
use
their smartphones to talk with their friends
instead
of doing face to face conversation.
Additionally
, these individuals do not do any kind of activity, like morning exercises or running.

To solve the
problem
, individuals should
make
a daily schedule or should
keep
a diary about their
own
daily routine,
however
, in there doing sport, walking, running activities
must
be involved
. After this, the requirement by them is doing activities at the same as they
are written
.

Furthermore
, the second reason is
fast
food. As everyone knows,
fast
food has
many
chemicals which can harm human’s health and fitness.
For instance
, person who at home, can order pizza or hamburgers, or whenever going to the university or work they can take by stores which can
be found
is the streets.
So
,
wrong
meal-eating is harmful.

As a solution, I can suggest
just
keeping a diet. Eating vegetables or fruits is
extremely
important
. In my opinion, being on a diet for about 2 months (for an average
fat
person) is
enough
.

In conclusion
, the causes of such kind of
problems
we are
just
ourselves.
So
, if everyone
keeps
these
rules
, they will not be
fat
and continue their happy life with
no
any health
problems
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them. v. 15

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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