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Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. v. 1
Teaching is considered a noble profession because teachers play a huge role in everybody’s life. While an overwhelming majority of people claim that a well-educated teacher has the best effect on students’ prosperity, others counter that it has. From my point of view, both decent mentor and students’ outlook pave the way to progress. On the one hand, although a good teacher has a great impact on the mind of their students, if teachers are not fully-fledged, they cannot teach concepts precisely, as a consequence, students will not take in their lessons at ease. Take a student learning mathematics at the fundamental level, if he trains well, he can learn this without difficulty in higher grades. In contrast, poor schooling causes serious problems like lack of career prospects in the long run because the world has placed a premium on educated workers. But maybe it is not all the truth. On the other hand, progression calls for students’ approach and this stems from practice. It is indispensable that pupils do not dabble in their lessons and they should be keeping abreast of the latest developments in their education. In contrast, some students will develop bad study habits and lag behind their peers. This attitude should be changed to have a significant progress curve. The more the students practice, the more they can improve their scores. To conclude, a sophisticated instructor seems to bring educational success. However, it should be regarded as one among a range of factors and the viewpoint of students is another one.
Teaching
is considered
a noble profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a huge role in everybody’s life. While an overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that a well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has the best effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
prosperity, others counter that it has. From my point of view, both decent mentor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
outlook pave the way to progress.

On the one hand, although a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has a great impact on the mind of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not
fully
-fledged, they cannot teach concepts
precisely
, as a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not take in their lessons at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. Take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learning mathematics at the fundamental level, if he trains well, he can learn this without difficulty in higher grades.
In contrast
, poor schooling causes serious problems like lack of career prospects in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world has placed a premium on educated workers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
maybe it is not all the truth.

On the other hand
, progression calls for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
approach and this stems from practice. It is indispensable that pupils do not dabble in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lessons and
they should be keeping abreast of the latest developments in their education.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
study habits and lag behind their peers. This attitude should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to have a significant progress curve. The more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
practice, the more they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their scores.

To conclude
, a sophisticated instructor seems to bring educational success.
However
, it should
be regarded
as one among a range of factors and the viewpoint of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is another one.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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