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In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.10

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 10
The issue of the growing number of obesity in the world has become a matter of discussion for many. In my view, poor dietary choices, sedentary lifestyle and growing fast food culture are main the reasons to name the few. In this essay, I shall outline the main causes for this change and analyse the possible solutions. There are multiple predominant factors resulting in rapid growth of the number of obese people and decreasing quality of health. Firstly, in our today's world, we live a very fast paced life, which leaves little to no room for cooking healthy food at home. As a result, many people resort to eating processed or ready made meals, this type of food is very high in both trans-saturated fat and sugar. Which is linked to many health ailments, including obesity. Secondly, a recent study at Stanford university showed that most people living in Canada on average spent 7hours or more sitting and doing no physical activity. That same study also linked heart diseases and poor weight management among people with such type of lifestyle. Lastly, fast food has now become a part of our culture and majority of people consume it on a daily basis. A very large number of studies show that a high number of calories, oil and sugar present in fast food, is the main driving force behind cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and increased body fat. So what can be done? I believe that the problem has to be tackled on a number of levels. For example, by making healthy dietary choices that are low in sugar and fat, could go a long way in terms of overall fitness. In addition, government can impose new regulations to limit the amount of fructose, cholesterol and trans-saturated fat in fast food meals. Adding to this, it will also be beneficial to mandate offices and companies to hire fitness and nutritional coaches, to provide guidance to those who are looking to make positive changes in their diet. In conclusion, from the given arguments and examples it is clear that various solutions exist to mitigate this problem, which require an effort from both public and government. In the future, we could only expect to see any improvement if only we work together to eliminate the causes of this growing global issue.
The issue of the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of obesity in the world has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. In my view, poor dietary choices, sedentary lifestyle and growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
culture are main the reasons to name the few. In this essay, I shall outline the main causes for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the possible solutions.

There are multiple predominant factors resulting in rapid growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and decreasing quality of health.
Firstly
, in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
paced life, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no room for cooking healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resort to eating processed or
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
meals, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in both trans-saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar. Which
is linked
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health ailments, including obesity.
Secondly
, a recent study at
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Stanford university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in Canada on average spent 7hours or more sitting and doing no physical activity. That same study
also
linked heart diseases and poor weight management among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with such type of lifestyle.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a part of our culture and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume it on a daily basis. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of calories, oil and sugar present in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, is the main driving force behind cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and increased body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what can
be done
? I believe that the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be tackled
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of levels.
For example
, by making healthy dietary choices that are low in sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, could go a long way in terms of
overall
fitness.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can impose new regulations to limit the amount of fructose, cholesterol and trans-saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
meals. Adding to this, it will
also
be beneficial to mandate offices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to hire fitness and nutritional coaches, to provide guidance to those who are looking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their diet.

In conclusion
, from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that various solutions exist to mitigate this problem, which require an effort from both public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In the future, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any improvement if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we work together to eliminate the causes of this growing global issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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