Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v.4

In some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v. 4
Most people are of the opinion that it is better to be brought up in the city, while others hold the view that the countryside is better. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both locations. To begin, a major advantage of raising a child in the city is that the child learns social and networking skills very early in life; these skills are important for survival. For example, a recent survey by some students in the psychology department of the university of Lagos showed that most people who spent their early lives in the urban areas find it very easy to make friends. However, one of the disadvantages of raising a youth in the urban areas is that there are high tendencies for that youth to be distracted. For example, I grew up in an urban area and I found it very hard to concentrate on my studies because there was always a party next door. On the other hand, the main benefit of bringing up a youth in the countryside is that the toddler is more focused and reserved; this is because there are less interesting things seeking his attention. To exemplify, my mother was raised in the suburbs and one skill she has that I admire, is the ability to set and achieve a task without being distracted. She believes this is as a result of her upbringing. On the other hand, bringing up a toddler in the countryside has the disadvantage of causing a young one to be withdrawn and lack social skills. In the example of my mother, she has few friends and finds it very difficult to relate with new faces. In summary, both locations have disadvantages and advantages with respect to bringing up a child. Nonetheless, the goal is to strike a balance in a toddler's life.
Most
people
are of the opinion that it is better to
be brought
up in the city, while others hold the view that the countryside is better. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both locations.

To
begin
, a major advantage of raising a child in the city is that the child learns social and networking
skills
very
early in life; these
skills
are
important
for survival.
For example
, a recent survey by
some
students in the psychology department of the university of Lagos
showed
that most
people
who spent their early
lives
in the urban areas find it
very
easy to
make
friends.
However
, one of the disadvantages of raising a youth in the urban areas is that there are high tendencies for that youth to
be distracted
.
For example
, I grew up in an urban area and I found it
very
hard
to concentrate on my studies
because
there was always a party
next
door.

On the other hand
, the main benefit of bringing up a youth in the countryside is that the toddler is more focused and reserved; this is
because
there are less interesting things seeking his attention. To exemplify, my mother
was raised
in the suburbs and one
skill
she has that I admire, is the ability to set and achieve a task without
being distracted
. She believes this is
as a result
of her upbringing.
On the other hand
, bringing up a toddler in the countryside has the
disadvantage
of causing a young one to be withdrawn and lack social
skills
. In the example of my mother, she has few friends and finds it
very
difficult to relate with new faces.

In summary, both locations have disadvantages and advantages with respect to bringing up a child. Nonetheless, the goal is to strike a balance in a toddler's life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Does renting accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts