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In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing? v.5

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing? v. 5
Nowadays, we are living in the era when human updated themselves with the recent fashion and hairstyle trend. In my opinion, social media and some public figures, especially celebrities, have a role to realize this activity become a custom. Therefore, I admitted that follow the trend is a bad thing and I will discuss how it can change person's habit and also can make new problems, that is a financial struggle. Firstly, some people are overly influenced by some public figures. Additionally, most of them may become prone to personality disorders and they start imitating the notable persons with some of family members, and they become victims of a personality crisis. For instance, I have a female friend who feels family violence because she usually compare their husband with one of the Korean actors, especially about body shape and handsomeness. Furthermore, she wanted his husband to follow the latest trend world wide. Hence, it transforms to a major problem because his husband do not approve at all. Furthermore, using the recent fashions and hairstyles means that people must invest some money to update their wardrobe. Although there may some fake mode, most of the apparel is not cheap to acquire. This can happen because genre always shifting from time to time and be a regular shopper will definitely drain a lot of money. For example, I have a student who always purchase their clothes every year because most of their clothes are outdated. In brief, most of her money runs out to purchase some mode annually Overall, the practice of following the latest fashion under the influence of celebrities should be discouraged as it leads to personality problems as well as financial stress.
Nowadays, we are living in the era when human updated themselves with the recent fashion and hairstyle trend. In my opinion, social media and
some
public figures,
especially
celebrities, have a role to realize this activity become a custom.
Therefore
, I admitted that follow the trend is a
bad
thing and I will discuss how it can
change
person's habit and
also
can
make
new problems,
that is
a financial struggle.

Firstly
,
some
people
are
overly
influenced by
some
public figures.
Additionally
, most of them may become prone to personality
disorders and
they
start
imitating the notable persons with
some of family
members, and they become victims of a personality crisis.
For instance
, I have a female friend who feels family violence
because
she
usually
compare
their husband with one of the Korean actors,
especially
about body shape and handsomeness.
Furthermore
, she wanted his husband to follow the latest trend
world wide
.
Hence
, it transforms to a major problem
because
his husband do not approve at all.

Furthermore
, using the recent fashions and hairstyles means that
people
must
invest
some
money to update their wardrobe. Although there may
some
fake mode, most of the apparel is not
cheap
to acquire. This can happen
because
genre always shifting from time to time and be a regular shopper will definitely drain
a lot of
money.
For example
, I have a student who always
purchase
their clothes every year
because
most of their clothes
are outdated
.
In brief
, most of her money runs out to
purchase
some
mode
annually


Overall
, the practice of following the latest fashion under the influence of celebrities should
be discouraged
as it leads to personality problems
as well
as financial
stress
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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