Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing? v.4

In Modern world, emerging new hair styles and fashion trends receive instant popularity and are being followed by masses. This essay tends to explore the reasons associated with this development, which is considered to have a positive impact on society as it promotes employment and boosts business growth. There are several reasons why people buy latest fashion clothes and like to have a trendy hairstyle. Most specifically, the internet users are constantly influenced by the updates on social media and desire to follow all the latest trends to maintain a high status in society. Apart from that, the younger generation look up to celebrities on social media and want to imitate their looks, thus spend money in saloons and malls. As a result of which, major brands offer huge sum of money to popular celebrities, to advertise for their product, as every social media post promoted on their account gets millions of views and likes from all over the world. These advertisements attract viewers and convinces them to buy similar styles of clothes. This global trend, however, has many positive implications for society. Firstly, the fashion industry requires employees so it leads to a number of job opportunities in their field. For example, in Philippines, most of the females are working at hair and beauty salons. Noticeably, Hair salons are on the rise to keep up with the growing demand for haircuts. Also, People spend money by shopping at malls for the latest brands of fashion. It is clearly evident from market sales, that the clothing brands and hair products endorsed by famous celebrities are sold out at an alarming rate. Thus, with this growing demand and evolving fashion trends, the fashion business will continue to gain high profits. To summarize, the influence of social media and celebrities play a key role in convincing people to follow the latest trends which further benefits the society by providing job opportunities and business growth in major countries.
In Modern world, emerging new
This is normally spelled as one word.
hair styles
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
receive instant popularity and are
being followed
by masses. This essay tends to explore the reasons associated with this development, which
is considered
to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as it promotes employment and boosts business growth.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
clothes and like to have a trendy hairstyle. Most
specifically
, the internet users are
constantly
influenced by the updates on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and desire to follow all the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
to maintain a high status in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Apart from that, the younger generation look up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and want to imitate their looks,
thus
spend money in saloons and malls.
As a result
of which, major brands offer huge sum of money to popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, to advertise for their product, as every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
post promoted on their account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
millions of views and likes from all over the world. These advertisements attract viewers and convinces them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
similar styles of clothes.

This global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
,
however
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry requires employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it leads to a number of job opportunities in their field.
For example
,
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the Philippines”.
in Philippines
, most of the females are working at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
and beauty salons.
Noticeably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hair
salons are on the rise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the growing demand for haircuts.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
spend money by shopping at malls for the latest brands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
. It is
clearly
evident from market sales, that the clothing brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
products endorsed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are sold
out at an alarming rate.
Thus
, with this growing demand and evolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
business will continue to gain high profits.

To summarize
, the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
play a key role in convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to follow the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
which
further
benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by providing job opportunities and business growth in major countries.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to the latest fashion. why is this happening. is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts