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In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Whare are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home? v.3

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Whare are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home? v. 3
Instead of buying a house, a large number people in some countries go for renting a house. There are many pros and cons when it comes to renting a home. An Oxford University study on people's interest in buying a home says that, around 60% of the floating population in a metropolitan city are living in rented homes. There can be multiple reasons when they decide to pay rent, rather than paying the EMI for a house loan. Firstly, the people who work in multinational companies are coming to a city that has more job opportunities. Likewise, there will be a large population that has moved to such cities only for work. These people have their parents and relatives in a different city and having the hope to move to a better city or country when they find better job vacancies. So, this part of the population has no interest in buying a home in the current city, taking the house loan which takes another 15 years to pay back. Secondly, the homes near anyone's workplace is obviously expensive and only a few can afford them, as most of the offices are located in the core of the city. For this reason, the middle class people have to find a home in a remote area, that is located more than 25 to 30 kilometres from the workplace, just because it is affordable. They have to bear the loan as well as the time invested in commuting to office, which will have an effect on peaceful life, especially, for the new generation Corporate professionals with no job guarantee. However, the rented home has its own disadvantages, like, we have to pay the rent every month which is almost equal to a home loan EMI, where EMI will lead to possess a property in the long term, but rent will not, we cannot make alterations to the rented home, there is no guarantee when the rent will be increased or when the landlord will ask the tenant to vacate etc.
Instead
of buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, a large number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries go for renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to renting a home. An Oxford University study on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interest in buying a home says that, around 60% of the floating population in a metropolitan city are living in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. There can be multiple reasons when they decide to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
,
rather
than paying the EMI for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
loan.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are coming to a city that has more job opportunities.
Likewise
, there will be a large population that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for work. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their parents and relatives in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city and having the hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a better city or country when they find better job vacancies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this part of the population has no interest in buying a home in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
city, taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
loan which takes another 15 years to pay back.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
near anyone's workplace is
obviously
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few can afford them, as most of the offices
are located
in the core of the city.
For this reason
, the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find a home in a remote area, that
is located
more than 25 to 30
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
from the workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is affordable. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear the loan
as well
as the time invested in commuting to office, which will have an effect on peaceful life,
especially
, for the new generation Corporate professionals with no job guarantee.

However
, the rented home has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages, like, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
every month which is almost equal to a home loan EMI, where EMI will lead to possess a property in the long term,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
will not, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
alterations to the rented home, there is no guarantee when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
will
be increased
or when the landlord will ask the tenant to vacate etc.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Whare are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home? v. 3

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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