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In some countries more and more shops are open longer hours everyday what are the positive and negative development of this? v.1

In some countries more and more shops are open longer hours everyday what are the positive and negative development of this? v. 1
It is a trend in a part of the world to keep a high number of shops closed for a limited hours only, on a daily basis. This helps people to buy things as and when needed by them, and is also beneficial for the shopkeepers in the form of extra sales. However, such a trend has negative consequences, by way of enhancing the costs of the shopkeepers, and the expenses of the consumers. On the one hand, one of the major benefits of extending opening hours of the shops, is that the buyers can purchase their required goods anytime they want. The working class, as a result of this, will not have to miss office work, or take half leave to get their shopping done. Secondly, such an arrangement has positive results for the shopkeepers too. Having an access to the shops for more time, means an addition to sales, which results in higher profits to them. On the other hand, stretching the working hours for the shops has its own drawbacks too. Firstly, it means in addition to the overall operating cost of the shops. Expenses on facilities, such as lighting, air-conditioning or heating for the opened shops simply adds to the cost. This will result in addition to the cost of the product. The burden of which is directly shifted to the consumers, when they buy articles from such shops. To conclude, enhancing operating hours of the shops, will make buying more convenient and more profit generating. However, this will result in an extra burden on the buyers.
It is a trend in a part of the world to
keep
a high number of
shops
closed for a limited
hours
only
, on a daily basis. This
helps
people
to
buy
things as and when needed by them, and is
also
beneficial for the shopkeepers in the form of extra sales.
However
, such a trend has
negative
consequences, by way of enhancing the
costs
of the shopkeepers, and the expenses of the consumers.

On the one hand, one of the major benefits of extending opening
hours
of the
shops
, is that the buyers can
purchase
their required
goods
anytime they want. The working
class
, as a
result
of this, will not
have to
miss office work, or take half
leave
to
get
their shopping done.
Secondly
, such an arrangement has
positive
results
for the shopkeepers too. Having
an access
to the
shops
for more time, means an addition to sales, which
results
in higher profits to them.

On the other hand
, stretching the working
hours
for the
shops
has its
own
drawbacks too.
Firstly
, it means
in addition
to the
overall
operating
cost
of the
shops
. Expenses on facilities, such as lighting, air-conditioning or heating for the opened
shops
simply
adds
to the
cost
. This will
result
in addition
to the
cost
of the product. The burden of which is
directly
shifted to the consumers, when they
buy
articles from such shops.

To conclude
, enhancing operating
hours
of the
shops
, will
make
buying more convenient and more profit generating.
However
, this will
result
in an extra burden on the buyers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries more and more shops are open longer hours everyday what are the positive and negative development of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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